Man Threatens to Defund Son’s College Tuition in Strict Ultimatum

Gillian Sisley

Should a parent ever use defunding education as a threat to make a child comply?

Marriage is already really difficult, but it gets even more challenging when children come into the mix. Unfortunately, some couples go by the false belief that children can 'save their marriage', when actually it ends up doing the exact opposite.

Divorce itself is also very hard on kids, I can leave lasting emotional scars and trauma. With close to 650,000 divorces taking place in the US every year, far too many children experience this sort of emotional distress.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a man refuses to pay for his son's college after finding out the teen is not biologically his, abandoning his son, and then demanding to see him again.

Should a parent ever use defunding education as a threat to make a child comply?

A Reddit post published on May 23rd, reported on by Taylor McCloud from Newsweek, has gone viral with 7,000 upvotes and 3,100 comments.

The author begins his post by explaining that he informed his 16-year-old son that he wasn't his biological father 3 years ago, around the time that the man divorced his wife and moved to a different city. He goes on to add that he has three children in total, and that the realization that one of his children wasn't biologically his was devastating and he needed to ‘take time to heal’ by moving away.

He adds that while he hasn't been physically present in his children's lives, he's kept in regular contact with his two biological children, while he's stayed in less contact with his 16-year-old, who was father by another man. With that said, the author adds that one day his 16-year-old grabbed the phone crying and told his father, "Don't you love me dad, why are they more important to you?", referring to the man keeping contact with the two other siblings, but not with the teen.

After several years of being away, the author returned to the city with his new partner so that he could settle down with his children. His two biological children came to live with him immediately, but his 16-year-old didn't show up, so the author went to visit the teen to find out what was going on. The author says that he apologized for treating his son the way he did, but the teen still refuses to live at his dad's house.

Blended families are common, but that doesn't mean they aren't complicated.

Data shows that about 16% of all US households are made up of blended families, whether that means adopted children, step-children, or family members that are not biologically related. With that said, these living situations may not always be straightforward or simple.

The author concludes his post by stating that his 16-year-old son reacted very badly to the author’s new wife getting pregnant. Still, the author decided to invite his son to live with him again, but the 16-year-old still refused.

The author's infant daughter was born just a week ago, and the 16-year-old still refuses to come to visit his half-sister. That was when the author called up his son and gave him an ultimatum. He either needed to come to see him, and his new half-sister, or the father would be cutting off his child's college fund. The teen immediately cussed out his father and then hung up on him.

What do you think? Was the father completely in the right to threaten to defund his son's college education if he didn't come to visit him? Or is the father delusional for not recognizing that he abandoned his child years ago, that there are emotional scars that need to be healed, and that giving the teen ultimatums isn't going to help with repairing that relationship?

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