Father Furious at 'Poor' Stepdaughter for Buying Kids Cars

Gillian Sisley

Is it anyone’s business how family members manage their money?

It isn't always easy to navigate relationships within a family. Especially when it comes to parents, they may have expectations of how you conduct your life and if you don't meet those expectations they may not always approve.

These tensions can grow even more when the subject of money comes into the conversation. People have different money habits or financial realities based on income and other responsibilities, and that can also create tension between family members.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a stepdaughter is routinely referred to as ‘poor’ by her stepdad, and so to prove a point she buys cars for all of his children and he is furious about it.

Is it anyone’s business how family members manage their money?

A Reddit post published on May 17th, reported on by Matt Keely from Newsweek, has gone viral with 9,400 upvotes and 619 comments.

The author begins her post by clarifying that she's in her early thirties and has two children. She raised her kids as a single mom, and this was a contentious issue with her stepfather. He told her that there was 'no way for a single parent to ever be successful', and that she was ‘ruining her life' by having two kids.

Due to the fights where he said these hurtful comments, the author went no-contact with her mother and stepfather for some time, including with her two half-siblings. She adds the context that her mom and stepdad aren't well-off because he has a gambling addiction, and all of her mom's savings were eaten up so that he could recover from his addiction.

In the last few years, the author has reconnected with her mom after she was diagnosed with cancer. The cancer is thankfully in remission now, and their relationship is continuing to improve, but she still has a lot of tension with her stepdad. The tensions are just heightened by the fact that the stepfather continually talks about how the author was ‘never able to make it’ because she doesn't have nice cars or a fancy apartment or a husband, and that it must be because she's ‘poor’ that she doesn't have these things.

While the stepdad assumes that the author is financially struggling, she actually makes a six-figure salary at her government job. She is just used to living a simple life without much splurging because she was a single mom raising two kids in her early twenties. She never decided to buy a house or buy a fancy car, because she didn't see it as a worthy expense when living in the city.

Family and money can cause a lot of tension.

Experts advise that you should think very carefully before you loan money to family members. For one thing, they say that you should view it as a gift rather than a loan, because odds are you may not get the money back. But if you choose to loan money to family members, and if they don't give it back in a timely manner or refuse to give it back at all, that can create a lot of tension and conflict.

With that said, her stepfather continues to call her ‘poor’ to her face on a regular basis, and she told him that he needed to ‘stop assuming things’. The author also reveals that she'd set up a trust fund for her half-siblings so that they could go to college in the future, considering her mom and stepdad wouldn't be able to help them.

She then also let each of her half-siblings buy a new car that would take them to school, because they were starting university the following year. The author intentionally left the price stickers on the windshield of the car so that her stepdad could know exactly how much she spent. She admits that she did this "out of spite".

When the stepfather saw the prices on the car, and learned about the trust funds, he told the author that she was showing off and should "keep her mouth shut and respect her elders". The stepdad and her mom are now furious at her for rubbing it in that she has more money than they do.

What do you think? Was the author justified in supporting her half-siblings so that they could go to college and get a car, even if it made her stepdad and mother feel bad about their own financial situation? Or do you think she took it too far by leaving the prices on the cars as a way to prove to her stepfather that she isn't 'poor' after all?

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