Surrogate Refuses to Let Mother-in-Law in Delivery Room

Gillian Sisley

Surrogates have rights too, they're not just a vessel.

Infertility can be one major reason why a couple will choose a surrogate to have a child. Data shows that about 1 in 5 women are considered to struggle from infertility, meaning that after a year of trying to get pregnant they cannot bring a pregnancy to term.

With that said, it's not only couples struggling with infertility who may choose a surrogate. Homosexual couples may also go this route, as opposed to adoption.

This sort of situation was highlighted in a recent online post in which a surrogate is about to give birth to the child of her clients, and the mother of the client is insisting she be in the delivery room for the birth, but the surrogate refuses.

Surrogates have rights too, they're not just a vessel.

A Reddit post published on May 16th, reported on by Taylor McCloud from Newsweek, has gone viral with 19,100 upvotes and 3,000 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she is surrogate, and part of the agreement is that there are strict rules about who is allowed in the delivery room when she is giving birth. She is only allowed three guests there with her, but that rule has caused tension.

She further adds that she's the surrogate for a gay couple, and she's 35 weeks pregnant and ready to give birth soon. She also happens to be friends with the couple, and the fathers agreed that they would be present for the baby's birth. The author's husband was also meant to be there, for her own personal support.

However, just yesterday the client's mom called her and asked for directions to the hospital. When the surrogate inquired why she would need it, the mom said that she needed the directions because she was going to be there for the birth of her grandchild. The surrogate told her that there had to be a miscommunication, because the fathers and her own husband were the only people who would be present for the birth.

The mother then said that the fathers had encouraged her to reach out to see if the surrogate would be okay with her own husband staying home so that the grandmother could see the birth of her grandchild.

Choosing to be a surrogate is no small thing.

When a couple is choosing a surrogate mother, they are making a huge decision. To choose to be a surrogate is in itself a humanitarian move to help another couple. A person who chooses to be a surrogate is very compassionate, but with that said, there are also contracts involved because it is in a way a business deal.

With that said, though there is a business element, it’s essential that the surrogate's comfort level and rights be respected while they are carrying the child of a client.

Despite the client's mother pushing more and more, the surrogate was firm in her decision and made it clear that she wanted her husband in the delivery for her own personal support while she was giving birth. Though the baby isn't her child to keep, she will still be going through a serious medical procedure and wants her own support person with her.

However, this answer was not received well, and the fathers of the baby soon called her up and told her she was 'unreasonable and rude towards their mother for no reason' and that they should be the ones to decide who is in the delivery room, since it's their baby.

What do you think? Is the author being unreasonable and rude, and should let the grandmother be present for the birth of her grandchild? Or are the clients the ones who are being unreasonable, and while it is their baby who is inside the author, it's still her body to decide what she does with it, and who she allows in the room while going through one of the most vulnerable moments of her life?

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