Husband Refuses to 'Get Over' Passing of Mother

Gillian Sisley

Should a person ever be pressured into speeding up their mourning process?

While life is an incredibly beautiful thing, the unfortunate reality of this gift is that we all must die one day. Though we understand this is the case, that doesn't make the process any easier.

Reports show that close to 3 million people die in the US every year, leading to many loved ones being left behind and forced to heal from these losses and pursue some form of closure.

But what is a person to do when their spouse is not entirely understanding of their grief, and badgers them to speed up their healing process? This sort of situation was highlighted in a recent online post in which a man is mourning the loss of his mother, and his wife tells him to ‘get over it’.

Should a person ever be pressured into speeding up their mourning process?

A Reddit post published on May 4th, reported on by Ashley Gale from Newsweek, has gone viral with 11,300 upvotes and 1,400 comments.

The author begins her post by stating that her husband's mother, unfortunately, passed away in an unexpected car accident. He had a very close relationship with his mother, so dealing with her death has been very tough on him.

The author goes on to further explain that her husband has since suffered from severe depression. She's done the best she can to comfort him, but is being mentally drained from being his 'emotional crutch' all of the time.

She goes on to explain that he stays home all day, has since quit his job, and barely notices her at all. She is responsible for paying all the bills and managing the house without his help. She encouraged her husband to go to therapy to deal with the loss of his mother and also his depression, but he completely refused to do so.

There's no ‘one way’ to heal from loss.

Every person's mourning process is different, and what may work for one person may not work for another. For example, some may benefit from group therapy, while others do much better with self-guided therapeutic practices.

One day, after coming home from work, the author noticed that there was trash on the couch where her husband was sitting. She asked if he could clean it up, and he bluntly said ‘no’. It was at that moment that she told him he needed to 'get over the loss of his mom'.

The husband looked at her as if she was a horrible person, but she encouraged him to take a look at where his life was at. He was depressed with no job, and he was throwing his life and relationships away. It was time for him to find closure and regain his quality of life.

What do you think? Does the wife have a point, and does her husband need to actively pursue healing so that he can regain his life again? Or is she being completely insensitive and cruel by expecting her husband to do anything more than just sit on the couch as he grieves the loss of his mother?

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