Woman Forbids Boyfriend from Seeing His Own Family

Gillian Sisley

Should a partner ever be allowed to forbid you from seeing family?

Dating and romantic relationships aren't easy. If they were, everyone would be in healthy, stable partnerships, and that is clearly not the case.

But what can make an already difficult relationship dynamic more challenging is when family members do not agree with a loved one's choice in a partner. When they choose to voice their opinion, that can create some real strife and distance between people.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman forbids her boyfriend from seeing any of his family because she’s angry that they won't side with her in each and every dispute that takes place.

Should a partner ever be allowed to forbid you from seeing family?

A Reddit post published on May 3rd, reported on by Matt Keeley from Newsweek, has gone viral with 13,300 upvotes and 1,400 comments.

The author begins his post by explaining that he is a brother named Jack, and his brother's girlfriend is Danielle. They've been together for several years, however, a few years ago, Danielle got into a fight with the author's wife over a family friend.

The family friend, named Henry, was essentially trying to tell his best friend Jack that he should break up with his girlfriend. When Danielle learned that this had happened, she forbade Jack from ever seeing Henry again. But that wasn't where the petty behavior ended. Danielle went the extra mile to try and spread rumors about her boyfriend and Henry, telling people they were "in a gay relationship together", though they were not. Jack and Danielle broke up because of these rumors, however, they got back together and Jack completely cut ties with his best friend, Henry.

With that said, the author and his wife would still have barbecues where they would invite Jack and Danielle, but also Henry. Danielle demanded that Henry no longer be invited to any functions, and the author's wife told her to 'get over herself and grow up'. Danielle and the author's wife have not spoken since.

Fast-forward to the present, and Jack and Danielle haven't attended a single family event in 4 years. The author even adds that Jack has not met his 2-year-old niece because his girlfriend will not allow him to visit his family.

Estrangement from family isn't uncommon.

There are a lot of reasons why someone may choose to be estranged from their family. With that said, sometimes it isn't always a conscious choice. For example, in emotionally abusive relationships, one of the most powerful tools that an abuser will use to control their partner is isolating them from all other loved ones in their life.

The author continues on to say that the reason Danielle won't attend family events is that she's worried people will ‘think differently of her’ if they find out she's the one preventing Jack from coming. She will put on an innocent act around family, but behind the scenes, the author says that she has a ‘very bad temper’ and controls his brother.

With that said, at a recent family reunion the author decided enough was enough. When people asked why Jack wasn't there, the author stated that Danielle won't go, and so she also won't allow Jack to go without her. The author's parents even stated that they had tried to talk to Jack alone, but Danielle ‘won't allow that to happen’.

Though the parents initially piped in on this particular issue, after the party they called out the author for bringing the topic up at all, claiming that it made people uncomfortable and that now they 'would look at Danielle differently'.

What do you think? Was the author justified in telling it as it is, and explaining to family members what was going on in his brother's relationship? Or should he have kept the information to himself, and he was in the wrong for saying anything at all?

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