Stepmom Refuses to Give $30K to Stepchild for Europe Trip

Gillian Sisley

Should stepchildren feel entitled to the wealth of their stepparents?

Having stepparents can be a difficult adjustment for some kids. Especially after seeing their parents separate, there can be lasting trauma due to the divorce. This may mean that some children may not be accepting of their stepparents.

And it's also not an uncommon occurrence for kids to experience. Data shows that over 650,000 divorces are finalized in the US each year, and of those who divorce, 58% of them will get remarried and bring kids into their new marriage with them.

This sort of situation was highlighted in a recent online post in which a stepdaughter requests $30,000 for a European vacation, and the stepmom refuses to cough it up.

Should stepchildren feel entitled to the wealth of their stepparents?

A Reddit post published on April 28th, reported on by Taylor McCloud from Newsweek, has gone viral with 21,900 upvotes and 2,900 comments.

The author begins her post by clarifying that she and her partner are both divorced with children from previous marriages. They both make good money, but their children had very different financial expectations growing up. The author herself has a 19-year-old son, while her partner has a 21-year-old daughter. The author clarifies that she and her late husband did the best they could to not spill their son, however, her partner and his ex-wife 'spoiled their daughter rotten'.

With that said, despite their different methodologies in raising kids, she and her partner agreed that she would treat his daughter like a guest in her home, and that's worked out well for the last 5 years. The daughter follows the house rules and while she is spoiled, she is still well-behaved and excels academically. In general, she's a 'respectful and pleasant young woman'.

However, things came to a bit of a head when the author financed a tour of East Asia for her son after he was able to get into a prestigious college. The stepdaughter then immediately asked her father for a similar gift, since she has not received any sort of international vacation since she got into college.

The author explains that he said ‘yes’, but he then came to her and asked to borrow almost $30,000 because he can't afford to pay for the trip on his own. She adds that she didn't even give that much to her own son.

Finances can get tricky when it comes to family.

Financial experts warn against lending money to family members, as things can get very complicated very quickly, and feelings of resentment can grow due to the incident.

The author ultimately refused to lend the money, saying that since the trip his daughter asked for wasn't an emergency, he could just save up for it himself and send her off after she graduated.

Her husband is no longer talking to her, and is accusing her of choosing favorites. He told her that she's 'putting money over his happiness and relationship with his daughter', but she also points out that he didn't pitch in at all towards the trip she financed for her own son.

What do you think? Is it reasonable for the father to expect his wife to help finance a trip for his daughter that's similar to the one she financed for her own child? Or should the father have not promised something he couldn't come through on, and should either offer his daughter a different gift, or spend several years saving up for it himself?

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