Woman Refuses to Let 'Affair Baby' Call Her Mom

Gillian Sisley

Does the child of an affair deserve to be the one who's punished?

Being a parent is a massive undertaking. It's not an easy responsibility by any stretch, and it could come with a lot of pressure and stress. This can even more so be the case when blended families are trying to figure out how to navigate their living situation.

The US Bureau of Census estimates that 1,300 new blended families are created every day. And a potential of this sort of arrangement can involve children who were conceived through extramarital affairs.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a woman refuses to let a 3-year-old child, who was born due to her husband's affair, call her ‘mom’.

Does the child of an affair deserve to be the one who's punished?

A Reddit post published on April 18th, reported on by Rebecca Flood from Newsweek, has gone viral with an impressive 22,700 upvotes and 3,100 comments.

The author begins her post by explaining that she and her husband split up 4 years ago after learning that he had cheated. Despite the split, they still had four children that they were raising together, and now her ex-husband even has a child as a result of the affair.

She goes on to explain that the baby born of the affair is 3-years-old now, and unfortunately, her mother passed away when she was only 1-year-old. Apart from the author's ex-husband and his family, the 3-year-old doesn't have anyone else because her mother grew up in the foster care system.

The divorce as a result of cheating caused the author's two oldest children to cut contact with their father, however, their youngest would still see him and has developed a strong bond with his 3-year-old half-sister. The author adds that she tried a few years ago to take out her two youngest children along with the 3-year-old girl, but she found it too difficult due to her ex's betrayal. While she knows that the child is blameless, she didn't feel she could be an active part of the little girl's life.

With that said, as the little girl has been growing up she has begun calling the author 'mama'. The author makes an effort to correct her, asking her to call her by her name instead. And the last time the 3-year-old saw the author, she ran up to her and called her ‘mama’, and then began to cry when the author wouldn't pick her up.

Unfortunately, couples separating is not an uncommon reality.

Data shows that close to 700,000 divorces took place in 2020 in the US. A portion of these divorces would have been as a result of extramarital affairs or cheating, and the couple no longer having trust in one another or being unable to move forward.

Everything came to a head at a recent Easter dinner when the author dropped her sons off to see her ex's family, and her ex took her aside and asked to speak with her for a moment. That was when he asked if his 3-year-old could call the author ‘mom’, which she flat out refused.

His reasoning was that when she would pick up her boys and be affectionate with them, it confused the 3-year-old girl, and that she's only a baby and doesn't understand what's happening. For this reason, he asked the author to take the little girl for a few days and treat her just as she would one of her sons, including letting her call her 'mom'. The woman said ‘absolutely no’, and reiterated that she wouldn't be playing the role of mother to a child who wasn't hers, and was the result of an affair that broke up her marriage.

What do you think? Is the author justified and not wanting a child that is not her own to call her ‘mama’ and expect her to take on parenting responsibilities? Or is the ex-husband valid in calling the woman ‘heartless’, considering the little girl lost her mother and doesn't understand that the author isn't her mom?

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