Mom Refuses to Let Husband 'Bond' with Baby

Gillian Sisley

Is there ever a justifiable reason to deny a father access to their child?

Having a baby is a massive milestone, and is usually a very exciting time for a couple. However, if the couple has radically different parenting styles or isn’t on the same page, raising a kid together can get pretty tricky.

With over 3 million babies born in the US every year, there are a lot of parents who are navigating this very conundrum, and trying to figure out how they can work together to raise a self-sufficient and healthy child who can eventually contribute to society.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a mother refuses to let her husband continue bonding with his child, leading to conflict in their relationship.

Is there ever a justifiable reason to deny a father access to their child?

A Reddit post published on April 17th, reported on by Samantha Berlin from Newsweek, has gone viral with 12,000 upvotes and 1,600 comments.

The author begins her post by stating that she is currently 5 months pregnant with her first child. However, ever since getting pregnant, her husband has been constantly making efforts to touch her belly.

The author clarifies that she has an anxiety disorder, and in general she doesn't like being touched by other people, especially when it's done suddenly and without consent. Though her husband is aware of her anxiety disorder, he still puts his hands on her belly on a regular basis, and refuses to remove them when she asks him to.

She adds that he'll do this when she's asleep or when they're with family, and sometimes he'll even lift up her top to get a better feel. Every time he does it, she will tell him that she feels uncomfortable and asks him to stop, but he replies that it's his son too and he needs the bonding time.

The final nail in the coffin was when the couple had friends over, and the father wrapped his arms around his wife from behind and put his hands on her belly. Her friends were a little weirded out by this, but he replied that he was just bonding with his baby. The author at that point moved away from her husband when he wouldn't take his hands off of her, and he left in a huff.

There's very little that is pleasant about being pregnant.

Pregnancy takes an incredible toll on a person's body. Not only is there bloating, nausea, pain, and fluctuating hormones, but also the added weight and strain of growing a literal human being inside oneself.

After the friends left, the husband blew up at her and said that she shouldn't be telling him he can't touch her when that's 'completely normal' for an expectant father. The author reiterated how it made her uncomfortable when he touched her without consent, but he didn't agree with what she was saying.

The husband ultimately said that he was trying to bond with his son, not her, and told her that she was a 'sensitive little girl' who needed to 'get over herself'. The author then became very upset and told her husband that he was no longer allowed to touch her stomach, and he got even angrier with her saying that it wasn't her call to make, and she can't 'prevent him from bonding with his child'.

What do you think? Is the author justified in no longer allowing her husband to touch her without her consent, especially considering she has an anxiety disorder? Or is the husband right in that she has no grounds to forbid him from touching her stomach, since that would mean he's not capable of bonding with his son anymore before the birth?

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