Bride Refuses to Let Groom's Sister in Wedding

Gillian Sisley

Who gets final say on the details of a wedding?

Weddings are a big deal, and for a good reason. A wedding day is meant to be one of the most special days of a person's life, and with the wedding industry bringing over 60 billion dollars each year to the US, it's understandable why couples can get so caught up on the details of planning a wedding.

However, when planning a wedding, family politics are likely to happen as well. Whether it's related to creating the guest list, or deciding who's going to be included in the wedding in which way. The married-couple-to-be may not always agree on the desires of one another.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a groom wishes for his sister to stand in the wedding as a 'groomsmaid', but the bride refuses to accommodate this request.

Who gets final say on the details of a wedding?

A Reddit post published on April 4th, reported on by Ashley Gale from Newsweek, has gone viral with 16,100 upvotes and 2,200 comments.

The author begins his post by clarifying that his fiancée and sister have never really gotten along. Although since the engagement, things have gone a bit more smoothly. However, when the author told his fiancée that he was going to have a sister as one of his groomsmaids, she became incredibly upset.

The author adds further context by saying that his sister is 'aromantic', which means that she doesn't plan to get married in the future, so he especially wants her to be part of his wedding day. However, the fiancée said that it wasn't traditional for women to be groomsmen, and that it would be 'embarrassing' for her.

He explained that his sister is one of the most important people in his life, so she had to be part of the wedding. This upset the fiancée even more, and she accused the author of 'trying to ruin her wedding day'. The bride-to-be then locked herself in the bathroom and had a temper tantrum.

Since the fight, the couple hasn't spoken much. The author's in-laws even asked that his sister not be part of the wedding, saying that his fiancée should be the 'most important woman in his life'. Though the sister said she was okay with not being involved in the wedding, the author refused to change his decision.

Innocent fight, or massive red flag?

While it is only natural for couples to fight now and again, there is a difference between healthy conflict and toxic conflict. Healthy conflict should look to find a common ground between the couple, all while dealing with the situation in a respectful and considerate manner.

Toxic conflict however will involve disrespectful conduct, and one or both parties doing all they can to be the one who is 'right' and 'wins' the fight.

The author concludes his post by stating that in the aftermath of the situation, he's decided to call off the engagement. He considers his sister to be more important than 'any miserable marriage'. He returned home and sat his fiancée down to have a detailed discussion about their future together, and she stated that she didn't feel the man and his sister have a 'normal relationship'. After discussing potentially going to therapy, the couple eventually chose to break up instead.

What do you think? Was the author justified in standing his ground, and fighting to have his sister stand for him in his wedding? Or should he have been more considerate to his bride's wishes, and excluded his sister from being involved in the wedding just to keep the peace?

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