Mother-in-Law Refuses to Accept Unborn Grandchild is a Girl

Gillian Sisley

How much does the gender of a child matter?

In some cultures, and throughout history, boys are preferred over girls. Whether it's for status reasons, carrying on family names, or cultural reasons. For example, due to the one-child law in China, it wasn't uncommon for newborn girls to be abandoned so that families could try again for a boy instead.

With that said, some individuals have a very specific vision of the gender of the baby they'd like to have in their lives. And in-laws are no exception to this rule. With that said, interference from in-laws can create massive strife in a relationship, and can even increase a married couple's chances of divorce by 20%.

These realities were highlighted in a recent online post in which a set of in-laws throw a baby shower for their daughter-in-law, but refuse to accept that the unborn baby is a girl rather than a boy.

How much does the gender of a child matter?

A Reddit post published on March 30th, reported on by Samantha Berlin from Newsweek, has gone viral with an impressive 27,000 upvotes and 4,000 comments.

The author begins her post by clarifying that she and her husband are expecting their first child, and this will also be the first grandchild on his side of the family. Her in-laws have stated that if the baby is a boy, they'd like to name him the father-in-law's name, who passed away due to cancer. The author had no problem with this.

However, this is where things get a little strange. Before finding out the sex of the baby, the author claims that her husband and his family had prayed over her and performed “rituals” to ensure the baby was a boy. The author thought this was really weird, and didn't enjoy participating, but she did so anyway to keep the peace.

With that said, once the ultrasound to indicate the gender of the baby came around, the author and her husband were told the baby was a girl. Her husband cried in the car because he was so upset, and even turned off his phone to hide from his family. And once the family found out that the baby was going to be a girl, they were visibly frustrated and disappointed. The author was very bothered by this, as she felt that her daughter deserved to be celebrated too.

The author states that her in-laws have ghosted her for days before eventually visiting the house. And when they were around, they referred to the baby as her ‘son’, claiming that the ultrasound results were false. The author asked her in-laws to stop referring to the baby as a ‘son’, when they knew she was a girl, but they refused. Her husband then sided with his family members, and she and her husband are barely on speaking terms.

The memory of a loved one should not discredit the welcoming of a new one.

Death is incredibly tragic. Recovering from the wounds of losing someone you love takes time and patience, and people can mourn for years and decades. And with over 7 million people dying in the US every year, experiencing this sort of tragedy is not uncommon.

Eventually, the author's sister-in-law called to apologize and tell her that she'd arranged a baby shower. The author was very excited, but when she arrived she saw that there were blue balloons and a blue cake with the father-in-law's name on it, which deeply upset her. The sister-in-law explained to the woman that the family was still hoping the results were false and that the baby was a boy. At this point, the author turned to her husband only to see that he was agreeing with his sister. The author then became enraged at her in-laws, called them delusional, and told them to stop treating her daughter as if she was unwanted.

The in-laws then began yelling at the author, saying she had “insulted the family” and dishonored the father-in-law's memory. It was at that point the author decided to leave the party, and as she was driving home her husband sent her many texts saying that she was “emotionally unstable”, and she better return to the house and “apologize for ruining everything his family had done for her”.

What do you think? Is the author justified in standing up for her unborn daughter and demanding that her existence not only be acknowledged but also celebrated? Or do the in-laws have the right to have some wishful thinking, and hope that ultimately the baby is a boy so that the father-in-law's memory can be honored through his name?

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