Child Betrayed by Parents who Favor Identical Twin Sibling

Gillian Sisley

Is it okay for parents to have a favorite child?

Parenting is considered one of the most difficult jobs in the world. And with over 40% of households in the US having children under their roof, it's not uncommon for a person to deal with this reality.

A parent's job is to raise their child to be a responsible and functional member of society. Parents have a legal obligation to nurture, care for, and provide basic living necessities for their kids until they turn 18, but anyone who's a parent will tell you that they never stop being a parent, regardless of the age of their children.

And while a parent may be closer to one child than another, it's generally considered taboo to admit that you have a favorite kid. This exact situation was highlighted in a recent online post in which a set of parents make it abundantly clear that they favor one of their children over the other, resulting in significant family conflict.

Is it okay for parents to have a favorite child?

A Reddit post published on March 24th, reported on by Samantha Berlin for Newsweek, has gone viral with an impressive 27,600 upvotes and 1,600 comments.

The author begins his post by clarifying that he is 20-years-old, and has two 18-year-old twin siblings. His younger brother, Joe, is often the scapegoat of all family problems, while his younger sister, Jill, is considered the 'golden' child.

The author goes on to explain that Jill is his parents' favorite child, as they always wanted a daughter, which often results in Joe being the scapegoat of the family. The author explains that he always tried to make Joe feel a little less alone, due to the blatant favoritism his parents showed to Joe's twin sister, Jill.

And all of this extra attention for his little sister has come at a price, as the author explains that his little sister has ‘princess syndrome’, and the preferential treatment she received her whole life has gone to her head. For this reason, the author prefers spending time with his little brother over his sister.

Both Joe and Jill have figured out their college accommodations for the year, with Jill being fully funded to attend school by her parents, while Joe got a full-ride scholarship to a college in Seattle. The author adds that because Joe got a full-ride scholarship, it appears that his parents don't believe that he deserves any financial help from them, and the parents are giving all of their financial support to Jill instead. The author was later FaceTiming with his little brother and offered to help him find a job, considering Joe wouldn't get any financial support from their parents while in school, and he would be attending college in the same city the author lives in.

Should parents treat children equally?

Child psychology experts recommend that all children should be treated equally, in terms of the attention that they get as well as the rules or structure they receive. The long-term effects of parental favoritism are recorded as depression, anxiety, and even traumatic reactions in personal relationships. Those who feel that another sibling was favored by their parents can have recurring feelings of rejection well into adulthood.

The author thought he was doing Joe a well-deserved favor by helping him find a job, however, things soon took a turn. Jill overheard the conversation over FaceTime, and texted the author the next day demanding that he also help her find jobs because she wants to be financially free from her parents so that they stop ‘nagging’ her.

The author explained to her politely that he didn't know anyone in the town where her school was, and she then blew up at the author and accused him of favoring Joe over her. The author is now wondering if he is in the wrong for helping out one of his siblings in a tough spot, and not helping out the other.

What do you think? Is the author justified in offering some extra support and help to his younger brother, considering his parents blatantly favor his brother's twin sister over him? Or should any offer of assistance that the author gives to his brother also be extended to his younger sister too, even though she's receiving more support from the parents?

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