Bride Uninvites Adoptive Parents to Wedding in Favor of Biological Parents

Gillian Sisley

What really makes a parent, and is there a place for both adoptive and biological to meet in harmony?

Weddings are back in full swing after years' worth of delays due to the pandemic. Many engaged couples are anxious to finally get their nuptials finalized and celebrate their union in front of all of their loved ones.

However, as anyone who has ever planned a wedding knows, one of the most difficult parts of the planning process is creating the guest list. Weddings are incredibly expensive, at an average of $28,000 in the US, and so not everyone the couple knows will get an invite. For most, that’s just not financially feasible.

The complications of this process are highlighted through many online testimonials. A recently viral Reddit post serves as an example of how family politics and perceived loyalty can play a big role in who receives an invite after a bride tries to convince her adoptive parents to allow her to invite her biological parents to her wedding.

For some adoptive parents, a child's choice to meet their biological parents can be perceived as a betrayal.

A Reddit post published on January 22nd, originally reported on by Rebecca Flood from Newsweek, has gone viral with close to 10,000 upvotes and 3,400 comments. In this post, the author, who is 30-years-old, states that she will be getting married in May 2022.

The bride further clarifies that she was given up as a baby, and had a good relationship with her adoptive parents growing up. At age 23, she decided to look for her biological parents, only to find out that they were 14-years-old when they had her. They are still together to this day, and explained that they wanted to keep her but were too young and couldn't raise her so they gave her up so that she could have a better life.

The bride then explains that she became quite hurt when she found out that in her childhood and teenage years her biological parents contacted her adoptive parents so that they could meet her, but the adoptive parents refused. When the author confronted her adoptive parents about this, they claimed that they were afraid she might prefer her biological parents over them. Their relationship hasn't been the same since.

As the wedding neared, the adoptive parents discovered that the bride's biological parents were also invited to the wedding, and they expressed their deep hurt. The author then told her adoptive parents that if they had an issue, they would be uninvited to the wedding, because her biological parents would be present on her special day regardless.

Complications are bound to arise when planning a wedding.

Data shows there are about 1.5 million adopted children in the US, making up 2% of the overall population. A fraction of those adoptions will be closed, meaning that the identity of the biological parents and adoptive parents is confidential, while others will have clauses in case the adoptive child wishes to meet their biological parents down the road.

With over 2.4 million weddings taking place every year in the US, there will always be complications, arguments, or disagreements with loved ones in relation to the wedding planning process. Some take the engaged couples' choices very personally, even though the day is meant to be about celebrating the newly married couple.

The bride concluded her post by stating that she tried to compromise with her parents by saying that both her biological and adoptive fathers could walk her down the aisle, but the adoptive parents refused.

What do you think? Is the bride being insensitive to her adoptive parents' feelings, considering they were the people who raised her? Or were the adoptive parents being unfair when they kept the biological parents' attempts to reach out to their birth daughter a secret?

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