When does 'my day, my way' go too far, and cross the line?
After so many years of weddings being canceled or postponed due to COVID-19 restrictions, dates are being booked again for nuptials all over the country.
That said, along with the growing wedding plans for 2022, the use of the term 'bridezilla' seems to be growing in its frequency use as well.
'Bridezillas' are defined as brides who take the saying 'my day, my way’ and exercise the limits to the fullest degree. A woman is coined as a ‘bridezilla’ when she makes unreasonable demands on her wedding party, guests, or other family members. These demands can include restrictions, conditions for being a part of the bridal party, as examples.
Many brides who had to reschedule or postpone their weddings are understandably anxious to get plans in order again and finally tie the knot as they'd hoped to. However, with that anticipation can come intensity, and thus a lack of regard for other people in the wedding planning process.
Weddings, in general, are costly, and more and more some engaged couples are depending on their bridesmaids and groomsmen to help pick up the bill. Business Insider reported that the average wedding costs over $28,000.
A survey conducted by Weddingwire.com reported that the average bridesmaid will pay a whopping $1,100 to $1,360 for the 'honor' of standing in a wedding party. That’s a hefty price tag for someone who is meant to be doing a favor and being supportive of a bride-to-be.
Examples of 'bridezilla behavior' are easy to find on the internet.
If one were to look for case studies on bridezilla behavior, look no further than Reddit to find alleged accounts of this shocking phenomenon.
In one such viral post, u/erktx recounts her story of how her best friend will be getting married and has asked her to be the bridesmaid. She explained how her friend requested that she wear a dress that was less than ideal, but she decided to accommodate her friend's request and bought the dress for $280.
This user then states that her best friend then asked her 6 bridesmaids to help pay for part of the wedding itself, including the $2,000 bridal gown and $14,000 bachelorette party.
That tally would come out to a grand total of '$2,333.34 per person and a 600 bridal shower'. That's not a price tag that would be accessible to a lot of people, and especially not younger people who are still in school or establishing themselves in their careers.
It's one thing to tell bridesmaids what dress to wear, that is generally expected because a wedding has a color palette and a style that bridesmaids' dresses will generally compliment. But it's a whole other matter to ask one's wedding party to help pay for the wedding itself.
What right does a bride have to enforce conditions on their bridesmaids?
Further demands that fall into 'unreasonable' territory can include requiring wedding attendants to change their looks, modify their bodies, or adjust their overall physique. For example, there are many accounts online that report brides specifically requiring that their bridesmaids be a certain weight before the wedding.
The New York Post surveyed several brides and found that a surprising amount had 'weight requirements' for their bridesmaids, as well as encouraging 'weight loss diet plans' and 'increased exercise habits' to maintain a certain physique leading up to the 'big day'.
As one interviewed bride stated, after requesting that her wedding party follow a strict diet plan,
"They're going to be standing up there with me, so they want to look good and feel good too."
What do you think? What is considered too far in terms of a bride's requirements for standing in a wedding? Should a bride be permitted to ask for whatever she wants, all because it's 'her special day', or is there a definitive line to be crossed?