The author of the post is wondering where the blame truly lies in this situation.
Weddings can get very complicated very quickly, especially when it comes to family.
One woman has turned to Reddit for some advice after her brother reacted badly to his family being unable to attend his destination wedding.
The now-viral Reddit post has collected 19,000 upvotes and 1,500 comments.
Valid reasons, or just a bunch of excuses?
The woman who authored the post, who is going by username throwawaynotafan, states that due to "multiple valid reasons" her grandparents, older brother, aunt, parents, and younger brother's girlfriend were not able to attend the destination wedding.
The reasons she cites for them not being able to attend are that her grandparents are very old, her mother is currently fighting breast cancer, and her father is taking care of her mother. On top of that, her older brother and aunt are both practicing doctors with busy schedules, and they have to be very careful because of the pandemic.
She also further explains that both she and her brother's girlfriend were either quite pregnant or had a newborn baby, which made the trip just not a possibility for them.
Other family members simply could not take two weeks off from work or they could not afford to fly out for the wedding. This is valid, as the average cost of attending a destination wedding for guests is $1,422, as found in a survey conducted by LendingTree of 1,000 wedding attendees.
How much can a groom and bride reasonably expect from their guests?
The woman who authored the post tried to talk to her brother about the situation months before, but he replied, "Our wedding, our rules. Don't like it, don't come."
The woman wrote that family members offered to be helpful in any way they could, since they couldn't attend the destination wedding, and the brother's reaction to their generosity was not what they expected.
"We asked to be able to help in any way we could but a few weeks before the wedding [their] attitudes changed. We were told they prefer to go low contact because we weren't coming to the wedding, which meant we didn't support their marriage."
The sister even "begged" her brother to let her pay for the bridesmaids' dresses, but the brother told her that he didn't want her money at all, he just wanted her to be at the wedding.
The author says,
"I tried to explain to him his wedding was four days before my due date. He ended up screaming at me calling me a spoiled entitled brat, [then] blocking me."
The sister wasn't the only one to get told off.
According to the woman, the brother had similar outbursts with just about every member of the family, and their father decided to fully cut off contact with the son.
Shortly after the destination wedding, the entire family learned that the mother who had been battling breast cancer only had 6 months to live. The whole family came together for a meal, and the entire time no one showed much interest in hearing about the wedding or seeing photos. Most family members acted quite coldly towards the brother and his new wife.
The woman then explains that the brother took the siblings aside to speak with them privately,
"My brother ended up getting us [siblings] alone to ask why we're being [so rude]. I told him, 'You got your big day, now you have to deal with the consequences'."
Shortly after the dinner, the brother reached out to say that he felt rejected because his family didn't attend the wedding, and felt it was wrong that no one apologized afterward.
What are your thoughts? Was the brother justified in feeling rejected by his family for missing his wedding? Or were his demands far too outlandish to be accommodated?