She's wondering if she was in the right for being so offended.
A frustrated mother has turned to Reddit to get advice when it comes to her relationship with her daughter-in-law, Sara.
The mother, who lives in Canada, celebrated Thanksgiving with her son Tim, and daughter-in-law, Sarah, several weeks ago. Since that dinner, she has been very upset and wants to know if that upset is justified.
Hours of work cooking, with little gratitude and return.
The mother goes on to explain that her relationship with her daughter-in-law is fine, though Sara can be "passive-aggressive at times".
Sara herself loves to cook, but she's always eating her mother-in-law's food. That said, there have been times that Sara made negative comments about her mother-in-law's cooking, and she would give advice on how to make it taste better in the future.
The mother explains that she recently hosted the whole family for Thanksgiving dinner. When her son and daughter-in-law arrived, she noticed Sara was carrying a container with her. The mother didn't ask any questions.
However, once everyone sat down for dinner, Sara opened the container and started to unload its contents onto her empty plate.
The mother stared in surprise, and asked what her daughter-in-law was doing.
"She said she brought her own food to eat since she won't eat what I cooked. I was stunned, I politely asked if there was a reason for that and she shook her head."
Doing one's best to accommodate everyone.
The mother was rightfully confused, and started to wonder if she'd missed an important detail about Sara's diet or food restrictions.
"I asked if she was vegan, she said no. I asked if she was allergic to anything at the table and she said no."
Sara gave no reason for why she brought her own food, and so the mother replied that it was "disrespectful of her to bring food to Thanksgiving dinner" when the mother was hosting and had labored over preparing the food all day.
Sarah then began to argue that she gets to eat what she wants whenever she wants. Tim, the son, asked his wife to at least try some side dishes, but the daughter-in-law lashed out telling her in-laws that they were unbelievable for forcing her to eat what was in front of her.
At that point, the daughter-in-law grabbed her things, excused herself, and left. The son left with her.
When picky eating crosses the line.
The mother was extremely upset, but was also told off by her husband who said that she should have let it go and not cared about Sara's food choices.
The author states that she was more upset about being disrespected in her home, and her husband told her she'd "made dinner awkward by focusing so much" on Sara's food choices.
Tim, the author's son, texted the mother the next day and apologized for what happened, and told his mother that she should talk to Sara to clear up the confusion. The mother doesn't think there is any confusion at all, that it was just plainly clear that Sara was being disrespectful.
A misunderstanding, or a power play?
Internet users were quick to agree with the mother in this situation. They agreed especially that Sara's behavior was never about the food, but it was about establishing dominance with her in-laws. Sara was trying to "assert herself and humiliate the mother in front of her family and guests".
Many commented that their mother-in-laws weren't the best cooks, but regardless they always ate their mother-in-law's food. It was about common decency and kindness, and being respectful of your in-laws.
What do you think? Was the mother justified in being so offended that Sarah refused to eat her food? Or should Sarah have the right to bring whatever food she wants to eat with her to Thanksgiving dinner?