And not only that, but it's an entirely normal procedure in his family.
As if marriage weren't hard enough already, a Reddit post published November 17 has gone viral after a woman claims that for three years her husband has been keeping a massive secret from her. The post has already garnered close to 12,000 upvotes and over 2,000 comments in just 24 hours.
The woman explains:
"We've been married for 3 years and I only just found out recently that before we got married my husband ran a background check on me and my family."
The woman borrowed her husband's laptop while on a family vacation, and that was when she discovered a folder that was full of reports on herself, her extended family, and two of her childhood friends.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Naturally, when the woman stumbled upon these reports, she opened them and read them in detail.
"I read as much of the reports as I could before my husband and his family came home for the day. At first I was just hurt he would do something like this without talking to me first, but as I read more and started finding out things about my family and friends that I never knew I started to get angry."
She confronted her husband directly in front of his family, which prompted her husband's cousin to explain to her how this was 'normal' to do in their family before a member got married.
The wife wasn't having any of it, and she left shortly after to stay at a hotel. She's now asking the internet whether or not she overreacted to the situation.
How far do the secrets really go?
The internet was quick to back the woman to validate that she wasn't overreacting. A partner doing background checks on a potential spouse and never telling them about it is no small matter.
The woman admits that she still doesn't know why her husband conducted the background checks, but she's most angry that it was kept from her.
Many internet users stated that they felt the husband's actions were blatantly disrespectful and a total breach of the wife's boundaries and privacy. They labeled this a major red flag, and even insinuated that the family might have something to hide or may be up to something more nefarious.
What do you think? Is it entirely reasonable for a partner to do a background check on their potential spouse before walking down the aisle? Or is taking this kind of action a complete violation between a married couple, especially if it's been kept secret for so many years?