Houston, TX

10 Weird Laws in Houston

Genius Turner

Houston is not only "Space City" but it's also a city with weird laws.(Jane04Chesapeake/Wikimedia Commons)

Houston, TX — "Never forget where you come from," goes the saying. Indeed, even if I tried my darndest, I could never remember to forget I'm from Space City. Of course, in addition to NASA — H-town also has a few "out of this world" laws.

In Houston, it's illegal to buy or sell Limburger cheese on Sundays. This law left me scratching my head while wondering:

Maybe Hannibal Lecter spooked lawmakers, so they banned a cannibal’s favorite cheese — Limburger.

In short, because the word weird is synonymous with "uncommon," here are ten weird laws in Houston.

1. It's illegal to go barefoot without a permit.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

"Ma'am," a store clerk says. "Please, next time wear socks with those open-toe sandals."

The lady asks why.

The clerk shakes his head. "Because . . . it's illegal to go barefoot without a license."

2. It's against the law to eat your neighbor's garbage.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

(Doorbell rings.) "Hi, neighbor," a lady says while handing a man a plate. "Happy Holidays. Enjoy my yummy cooking!"

The man frowns. "Sorry, Miss Parker, but I can't eat this?"

"Why?" she asks.

"Because," the man says, "it's against the law."

3. You can legally marry someone by merely saying it out loud.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

"Hey Mikey," a guy says, "how come you look so sad? What's wrong?"

Mikey sighs. "Bro, getting married put me in debt. That wedding cost more than I earn in a year!"

His friend smiles. "Well, should've done as I did. I publicly announced Julia was my wife three times. And we were common-law married on the spot! Oh, and I didn't spend a penny."

He's publicly announcing three times that she's his wife. And so, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."(Sher Khan/Pixahive)

4. It's illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

A security guard spots a kid with a Mohawk. He blows his whistle. "Hey kid," security says, "either shave that hair from the top of your head or I'm going to escort you out of the Galleria."

5. It's illegal to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

In 1992, the Buffalo Bills trailed the Houston Oilers 35-3 in the third quarter. By the game's end, the Bills would pull off the greatest comeback in NFL playoff history.

With Oilers fans shocked, perhaps lawmakers decided it would be wise to protect buffalos — due to how mad Houstonians were at Buffalo's stunning comeback.

The End.

6. By law, citizens are to pledge allegiance to the state flag.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

During the Astros game, the Texas flag is flown while the crowd pledges allegiance. Billy, though oblivious to the allegiance's lyrics, pledges anyway.

With hand over heart, he sings: "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation ..."

7. It’s illegal to milk another person’s cow without permission.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

A farmer spots a stranger milking his cow. "I'm warning you, pal," he yells, "either get lost or we're gonna have some beef!"

Clearly this guy keeps peeking over his shoulder because he's milking someone else's cow.(National Parks Gallery/Public Domain Dedication)

8. It's illegal to drive without windshield wipers.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

An officer pulls over a Ford Explorer. "License and registration!" the officer says.

"Which law did I break, sir?" the driver asks.

"It's illegal . . ." the officer says, "to drive without windshield wipers."

The driver scratches his head. "But my car doesn't even have a windshield."

9. It's illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

For a Halloween party, a guy dresses as Chicken Little. Unfortunately, while entering the nightclub, the guy's feathered costume accidentally brushes against the public building. The doorman stops him.

"Sorry, pal," the doorman says. "You've broken the law. No entrance!"

10. It's against the law to own a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Hypothetical scenario:

Some Steve Urkel-looking guy says hello to a Houston Texans' cheerleader. She wags her finger at him. "Sorry, nerd, but I only date bad boys."

Urkel smiles while slowly unzipping his jacket. "What time am I picking you up for our first date?" he asks while whipping out a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica. "I know . . . I know — I live on the wild side."

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My writing is popular in academia (biology, psychology, etc.) and on websites such as Quora (millions of views) and Medium. Also, I'm signed to the same literary agency as Eckhart Tolle. In short, I'm an ordinary guy serving an extraordinary God. https://finalspeciescode.com/genius-turner/

New York City, NY

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