Minneapolis, MN

10 Weird Laws in Minneapolis

Genius Turner

Not only is Minneapolis the "Twin Cities" but it's also the city with some of the weirdest laws.(Bobak Ha'Eri/Wikimedia Commons)

Minneapolis, MN — Like many music lovers, I've always wanted to visit Prince's hometown. After all, Minneapolis inspired his classic film and album, Purple Rain. Before visiting any new city, however, I usually familiarize myself with its basic laws.

In Minneapolis, it's illegal to cross state lines with a duck atop your head. This law left me scratching my duckless head. I couldn't help but wonder: whoever made up this law clearly intended to make Daffy Duck laugh. After all, such laws have been known to quack Daffy up.

In short, because the word weird is synonymous with "uncommon," here are ten weird laws in Minneapolis.

1. It's illegal to ride a motorcycle without a shirt.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

A guy gets pulled over for being shirtless while riding his Harley-Davidson. When the officer asks for license and registration, the guy points at another motorcyclist. "Hey," he says, "that guy's in underwear while riding his motorbike."

The cop hisses. "So what! He's wearing a shirt."

2. It's against the law to walk down an alley.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

Ah, but so long as you hop, skip or jump down an alley — everything should be fine.

3. Women who impersonate Santa Claus can face jail time.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

What if Kris Jenner marries a guy named, um, Doug Kringle. Kris then adopts her husband's last name. Ah, but when she hands out gifts at Xmas time, everyone will say: "Kris Kringle loves to give gifts but such impersonations are illegal."

4. It's against the law to stand around a building without having a reason for being there.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

After working for hours in a cramped home office, Tom steps out for some fresh air. While idly leaning against the side of his home, a neighbor warns: "Now don't linger too long, Tom. After all, such behavior looks illegal."

5. It's illegal for a red car to drive down Lake Street in Minneapolis.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

Perhaps back in the '80s, when Prince needed inspiration for a song, he spotted a red car illegally driving down Lake Street. Inspired, he then wrote: "Little Red Corvette . . . Baby, you're much too fast (Oh, oh)."

6. It's illegal for farmers to sleep with their animals.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

A farmer's wife notices he has bags under his eyes. She wonders why he's only been sleeping two hours a day.

After yawning, the farmer says: "Ever since I learned it was illegal to sleep with animals, to avoid sleeping with our pigs, I have to stay awake in the morning. And to avoid sleeping with cows, I have to stay awake in the evening. As for our sleeping goats and chickens — they keep me up all night."

7. According to State Law, Nursing Homes are only allowed to host Bingo twice a week.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

Family and friends gather at a nursing home. They're all in attendance to celebrate Grandpa's 100th birthday. When asked what he wants for his birthday, Grandpa says: "I want to play Bingo for my birthday but I can't."

"Why?" his granddaughter asks.

"Because," he says, "the nurse says 'three strikes and you're out' only applies to baseball, not playing Bingo weekly."

8. It's illegal to tease skunks.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

A skunk sprays a tree. A guy standing nearby catches a whiff and then covers his nose with a shirt.

"Hey pal," Park Security warns, "lay off on teasing the skunks or else."

9. It’s the law to keep your car clean.

  • Hypothetical scenario:

So if you're a fan of washing your car, consider switching to a truck or motorcycle (just remember to wear a T-shirt).

10. Minnesota "Declares Mosquitoes Public Nuisance"

  • Hypothetical scenario:

Saying mosquitoes are a nuisance in the land of 10,000 lakes is like saying fish crowding the sea "are a public nuisance."

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My writing is popular in academia (biology, psychology, etc.) and on websites such as Quora (millions of views) and Medium. Also, I'm signed to the same literary agency as Eckhart Tolle. In short, I'm an ordinary guy serving an extraordinary God. https://finalspeciescode.com/genius-turner/

New York City, NY

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