Kansas City, MO

10 Weird Laws in Kansas City

Genius Turner

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Not only is Kansas City the "City of Fountains" but it's also the city with some of the weirdest laws.(Timothy Dykes/Unsplash)

Kansas City, MO — Like most football fans, Patrick Mahomes converted me into a Chiefs fan. And so, quite naturally, I'd like to attend at least one Chiefs' home game this year. Before visiting any new city, however, I usually familiarize myself with its basic laws.

In Kansas City, it's illegal to catch fish with your bare hands. This law left me scratching my head. I couldn't help but wonder: I'd really hate to be a bear, given how much they love catching fish with their bare paws.

And so, with that being said, here are ten weird laws in Kansas City.

1. It's illegal to fly kites in public places.

Park security sees a guy flying a kite. "Sir, it's illegal to fly that kite!"

The guy shakes his head while pointing to the sky. "Looks to me like Mother Nature's the one up there in the cockpit. After all, it's the wind, not me, flying this kite."

2. You must have a permit to shave while driving.

And who made this law? Let me guess, Mr. Gillette or Miss Nivea?

3. Single men between the ages of 21-50 must pay an annual tax of one dollar.

Ebenezer Scrooge spots a lady sitting alone in a bar. He peeks his head in the door. "Excuse me, miss, would you like to date?"

The lady shakes her head. "At least offer to buy me a drink, first. Sheesh."

Scrooge frowns. "Bah Humbug! That'll cost more than the measly buck I was hoping to save."

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Scrooge was really hoping to find a "tax loophole" by going on a random date.(Portland Center Stage/Flickr)

4. It's illegal to eat clam chowder on Sunday between 11:50 am and 12:48 pm.

But feel free to slurp clam chowder twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

5. Honking someone else's horn is illegal.

After working the night shift, a sleepy driver puts the gear in Park while waiting at a red light. He takes a power nap.

One of the drivers stuck behind him, after blowing her horn in vain, storms to the sleeping man's car. She reaches into his cracked open window and then honks his horn.

Jarred awake by the honking of his own horn, the guy yells: "Hey, it's illegal to wake someone up by honking their horn!"

6. It's illegal for four or more unrelated women to rent an apartment/house together.

(Knocking on the door.) "Ma'am, as the apartment manager," he says, "I'm here to warn you that having three unrelated women living with you is illegal!"

The lady shakes her head and then says: "According to genetics, all living humans came from the same Mitochondrial Eve. And so, I'm related to all these women."

7. It's illegal to have bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws

Unless, of course, you're eating an animal cracker shaped like a bathtub with four legs resembling animal paws. If so, "have" as many as you'd like.

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I've heard those new bathtub shaped animal crackers, with four legs resembling animal paws, are yummy!(S_Prolific/Flickr)

8. Buying either a car or truck on Sunday is illegal.

Hakuna Matata! Buy a motorcycle or boat instead.

9. It's illegal to worry squirrels.

After all, if the squirrels are stressed out — who's going to give hair cuts to all these oak trees?

10. It's illegal to throw a hard object by hand.

No wonder the Royals' pitching has been so awful lately.

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My writing is popular in academia (biology, psychology, etc.) and on websites such as Quora (millions of views) and Medium. Also, I'm signed to the same literary agency as Eckhart Tolle. In short, my sole mission in life is to serve my brothers and sisters from all walks of life. http://finalspeciescode.com/

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