Memphis, TN

10 Weird Laws in Memphis

Genius Turner
Not only is Memphis the "Grind City" but it's also the city with some of the weirdest laws.(Judeus Samson/Unsplash)

Memphis, TN — Like many basketball fans around the country, Ja Morant converted me into a Bucks fan. And so, quite naturally, I've vowed to attend at least one Grizzlies' home game this year. Before visiting any new city, however, I usually familiarize myself with its basic laws.

In Memphis, it's illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. This law left me scratching my head. I couldn't help but wonder: since when do cowboys shout at their horses, "Giddy-up, it's time to go fishing"?

And so, with that being said, here are ten weird laws in Memphis.

1. It's illegal to drive while you're asleep.

Hey, while lawmakers are at it, might as well add: it's illegal to kiss your own elbows . . . or walk without moving your legs.

2. It's illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM.

"Hey, why do you always heavily duct tape your mouth at 10:59 pm?" a nosey neighbor asks.

"Because," says Kermit the Frog, "I don't wanna get arrested again for croaking on Beale Street."

3. The only game you can legally shoot from vehicles are whales.

Unless you're a hunter whose first name is "Little" and last name "Mermaid," good luck with that one.
When Princess Ariel's eyes widen like this, it usually means she's hungry and spotted a whale.(Joe Shlabotnik/Flickr)

4. It's illegal to take unfinished pie home and all pie must be eaten on the premises.

"Check, please," a lady says to the waiter.

"Would you like a doggie bag with that, ma'am?"

The lady shakes her head. "Nope! Can't risk Rover getting arrested for eating leftover peach pie."

5. It's illegal to place a tack on a highway.

And it's illegal to be a tacky dresser too!

6. Because ministers are to be dedicated to God, they're ineligible to hold a seat in either House of the Legislature.

But if you're a preacher, reverend or pastor — wishing you good luck running for office!

7. Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there's a man in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.

"Excuse me, ma'am," a traffic cop randomly says. "Just curious, um, why'd you draw a mustache on the Rolls Royce emblem? Not to mention, the emblem appears to be waiving a tiny red flag."

The driver heaves a sigh. "Officer, maybe you should address this question to Memphis lawmakers."
The only thing missing from the famed emblem is a mustache and red flag.(charlie0111/pixabay)

8. "Crimes against nature" are prohibited.

So the next time Mother Nature sends rainfall, and you see some smart-aleck human using an umbrella — feel free to report them. After all, it's a "crime against nature" to refuse to get naturally soaked.

9. It's illegal to carry skunks, from out of state, into Memphis. Or any other city in Tennesee.

"License and registration!" the officer says, flashing a light in the driver's eyes.

"No problem!" the driver answers. "Just came back from Little Rock."

The officer pulls up his shirt to cover his nose. "Sir, not only were you speeding but you brought a skunk in town from Arkansas?!"

The driver shakes his head. "No skunks. Just forgot to brush my teeth this morning."

10. Tattooing a minor is a misdemeanor.

"Mommie, will you help me put this on?"

"Nope!" she fires back. "Tattooing a minor is against the law . . . even if it is a sticker."

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My writing is popular in academia (biology, psychology, etc.) and on websites such as Quora (millions of views) and Medium. Also, I'm signed to the same literary agency as Eckhart Tolle. In short, my sole mission in life is to serve my brothers and sisters from all walks of life.

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