Buffalo, NY

10 of the Weirdest Laws in Buffalo

Genius Turner

Not only is Buffalo the "Queen City" but it's also the city with some of the weirdest laws.(Stephen Leonardi/Unsplash)

Buffalo, NY — Like many New Yorkers, I find myself rooting for the Bills. After all, they'll most likely end the season with more wins than the Giants and Jets combined. And so, I'll possibly catch a playoff game at Highmark.

Before visiting any new city, however, I usually familiarize myself with its basic laws.

In Buffalo, it's illegal to throw a ball at someone's head. Sheesh! So much for fathers and sons playing catch in the ole backyard. With that being said, here are ten of the weirdest laws in Buffalo.

1. It's illegal to sell dog or cat hair.

I shared this weird law with my cousin while we were on FaceTime. She frowned, slowly gliding fingers through her silky hair extensions.

"Well," she said, "thank goodness horsehair is still legal!"

2. Gathering with two or more people in masks is against the law.

Perhaps this year's Halloween party should be renamed. "A Gathering of Law-Breaking-Mask-Wearers" sounds about right.

3. Slurping soup in public is against the law.

An angry waiter storms to the table. "Sir, slurping soup in public is against the law!"

The law-breaker points at his cup from 7-Eleven. "Excuse me, but I transferred the tomato soup to this Slurpee cup. And so, I'm merely following this cup's orders."

Yummy! Few things beat slurping tomato soup from a fresh Slurpee cup.(slgckgc/flickr)

4. Flirting is illegal.

The next time a stranger smiles and asks for your phone number, perhaps suggest: "Oh, I get it. You want my number so I can text you a reminder of the $25-flirting fine you'll have to pay. Right?"

5. It's illegal to shine shoes after 1:00 on a Sunday afternoon.

"Okay," a shoeshiner says while eyeing his watch. "The time is now 1:01 pm. And so, for the rest of Sunday — I'll only be polishing boots."

6. It's illegal for steam-powered railroads to travel faster than 6 miles per hour.

After a round of choo-choo, the train conductor announces: "All aboard . . . all aboard! Train leaving from West Village Historic District will arrive in Orchard Park in just under 3 hours."

7. Taking selfies with a tiger is illegal.

"Hey Tiger, you're my favorite golfer. Can I take a selfie with you?" a fan asks.

Mr. Woods shakes his head. "Sorry pal, but taking selfies with a tiger is against the law."

Whenever the PGA tour stops in Buffalo, and you so happen to see Tiger — remember, ask for autographs, not selfies.(Tiger Woods/Wikimedia Commons)

8. A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.

Cool. Now for the most important question: How does one go about locating the New York State 'Clothesline' Manual to practice hanging clothing for the test?

9. It's illegal to wear body-hugging clothing on the street.

From now on, expect to see people around Buffalo dressed like astronauts in outer space.

10. It's illegal to speak to people on elevators.

"Hey, pal," a security guard warns. "It's illegal to speak to people while riding this elevator!"

The guy shakes his head. "Sorry, but I was chatting with a friend on my invisible hands-free phone. Just so happens I made eye contact with this here lady while accidentally waiving at her."

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My writing is popular in academia (biology, psychology, etc.) and on websites such as Quora (millions of views) and Medium. Also, I'm signed to the same literary agency as Eckhart Tolle. In short, my sole mission in life is to serve my brothers and sisters from all walks of life. http://finalspeciescode.com/

New York City, NY

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