Charlotte, NC — Like many basketball fans around the country, LaMelo Ball converted me into a Hornets fan. And so, quite naturally, I've vowed to attend at least one Hornets home game this year. Before visiting any new city, however, I usually familiarize myself with its basic laws.
In Charlotte, it's illegal to borrow your neighbor's dog. This law left me scratching my head. I couldn't help but wonder: "If the neighbor's chihuahua roams into your backyard, wouldn't scooping and then returning her come at the risk of looking like you 'borrowed your neighbor's dog'? "
And so, with that being said, here are ten of the weirdest laws in Charlotte.
1. It's against the law to steal kitchen grease.
Is that so? What if a burglar breaks in someone's kitchen, and, um, steals a DVD of the movie Grease, from the kitchen countertop?
2. It’s illegal to hold an organized meeting while wearing a mask.
Well, there goes the plans for meeting at this year's organized Halloween party.
3. It's against the law to sniff glue.
Unless, of course, you're Edward Scissorhands and sniffing glue is your new superpower.
4. Operating as a professional psychic is against the law.
The next time you see a meteorologist give Charlotte's weekly forecast, feel free to shout at the TV: "This guy's breaking the law!"
5. It’s illegal to drive on a sidewalk.
"Hey, Timmy!" some furious dad shouts. "If I see you driving on the sidewalk again, son, I'll—"
"Give him a break," the mother fires back. "He's only a 5-year-old, so let him ride his Big Wheel in peace."
6. Serving alcohol at a bingo game is against the law.
During a bingo game, one of the players says: "Hey, anybody got some alcohol? I cut my finger a few minutes ago."
The host shakes his head. "Sorry, pal, but serving alcohol at a bingo game is against the law!"
7. It's illegal to sing off-key.
Since when did karaoke night become so risky?
8. Riding a bike without using both hands is illegal.
Imagine if while riding the ole 10-speed, your phone rings. You glance down at your hip, not wanting to remove your hands from the handlebars. And sure enough, it's a call back from your dream job. Oh, what a dilemma!
9. Laws regulate the font size.
Restaurants are required to display menus that are large enough to be readable by people sitting outside, but not readable by people in the street. But . . . but what if the person sitting outside suffers from an extreme case of "farsightedness"?
10. It's illegal to plow fields with elephants.
Most likely this law has little to do with the cost of hiring elephants. After all, they'll work for peanuts.