Washington, DC

10 of the Weirdest Laws in Washington, D.C.

Genius Turner

Not only is D.C. the "Capital of America" but it's also the capital of some of the weirdest laws.(Pxfuel/Royalty-free)

Washington, D.C. — The first time I visited the District, my pal turned on some Go-Go. "Welcome to Go-Go City! " she said with a smile. Indeed, of all the cities I've ever set foot in, there's nothing quite like D.C.

From the height restrictions that ensure D.C. lacks skyscrapers down to the music, there's truly no city like the Capital of America. Not to mention, D.C. is arguably the "Capital of Weird Laws."

On that note, here are 10 of the weirdest laws in Washington, D.C.

1. It's possible to earn a parking ticket for parking in your own driveway.

I wonder if this law also applies to parking in your own garage.

2. It's against the law to take photographs for more than 5 minutes in any public location.

Ahem, while you're at it — why not go ahead and ban residents from saying "wanna see a picture of me when I was younger?" After all, every picture is a picture of you "when you were younger."

3. No Dancing Within the Jefferson Memorial.”

But . . . but what if, say, while browsing the Memorial, a guy overhears someone yell out his name, "Michael"? And upon Michael's spinning around to check who it is, an onlooking security guard interprets the guy's spin move as trying to dance like Michael Jackson.

This guy should probably avoid spinning around, to answer someone, while browsing the Jefferson Memorial.(Contains Mild Peril/Wikipedia)

4. "It’s illegal to conduct or participate in a race, dance, or other contest for longer than 12 hours in any consecutive 24-hour period."

And who made up this rule: human lawmakers or human feet?

5. It's against the law to marry your mother-in-law.

Captain Obvious finally got a bill passed, eh. After all, to marry your mother-in-law would by definition make her your "wife-by-law." Technically.

6. Before 1961, it was against the law for D.C. residents to cast votes in presidential elections.

I know, I know . . . telling residents of the nation's capital they can't vote for who's running the nation's capital is like a man's brain telling his eyes: "See, that's the problem . . . you never see what I mean."

7. It's against the law to put out a false weather report.

The day this law is actually enforced is the day 99.999 . . . percent of D.C. meteorologists call in sick.

8. It's against the law for small boys to throw stones in Washington, D.C., for any reason.

Unless, of course, the small boy is named "David" and some giant named "Goliath" tries to bully him.

9. Whistling in the bathroom is against the law.

But what if while you're on the potty, a spider happens to fall on your lap? And then — due to shock — whistling is the only sound you can muster.

10. “While you can exercise your right to freedom of speech (including lecturing or preaching to a public audience), you may not do so for more than 30 days in a row at a single location.”

Long-winded lecturers at Georgetown — consider yourselves warned.

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My writing is popular in academia (biology, psychology, etc.) and on websites such as Quora (millions of views) and Medium. Also, I'm signed to the same literary agency as Eckhart Tolle. In short, I'm an ordinary guy serving an extraordinary God. https://finalspeciescode.com/genius-turner/

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