5 Psychological Facts About Attracting People

Genius Turner

The Psychology of Attraction

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Pic: Wikipedia/CC BY-SA 3.0

I. The Game of Attraction

Upon first hearing something is called a “game,” the first thought is usually something trivial. “Stop playing ‘games’ and get serious,” goes the saying. 

Yet when the concept of a game is stripped bare, the notion reveals a universal feature.

“The beginning of wisdom,” said Socrates, “is the definition of terms.” 

Armed with the Socratic method, it becomes apparent that — any activity governed by rules qualifies as a “game.” After all, each set of rules assumes an objective.

If the goal is to understand how the Game of Attraction works, perhaps it would serve us well to take heed of the following advice: 

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then, you have to play better than anyone else.” 
— Albert Einstein

In short, because grasping the rules of any game calls for dabbling in psychology, without further ado . . . I’ll now present to you — 5 psychological facts about attracting people!

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II. Psychological Fact #1

Nothing attracts a pretty girl more than not being desired by a guy whose girlfriend is unattractive. 

This incredible fact tops the list due to its paradoxical nature!

Back in college, I once knew a guy who was so attached to his high school sweetheart that you could’ve mistaken them for Siamese twins. From the cafeteria to the hallways of the dormitory, he and his girlfriend could be spotted holding hands. 

The “Beyoncé” of our campus was a girl named Lisa. Because she wouldn’t give me the time of the day, I ditched my questions of Father Time and instead settled for the friend zone. 

One day Lisa called and cried me a river over the phone. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked. 

“It’s Keith [the guy with the girlfriend],” she said in between sniffles. “He told that ugly girlfriend of his that I asked for his number.” 

I staved off the laugher. “Well . . . did ya?” 

Her silence spoke on behalf of her lips. 

I heaved a sigh. "Lisa, don’tchu know that man is in a relationship?” 

“Yea,” she fired back, “but I look good and she don’t! I’m popular and she ain’t nobody! What she got that I don’t?”

I gulped and then mumbled, “His heart.”

Pic: publicdomainvectors.org

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III. Psychological Fact #2

Selfish people attract selfish lovers.

“I always fall for your type,” Jamie Foxx once crooned. This psychological fact is so obvious that I’m tempted to use a mathematical term for its description — axiomatic (‘self-evident truth’). 

If I had a penny for every time a buddy of mine with a cheating problem ended up with a female who’d turned the tables on him, heck, I’d be named "Black Bezos!" 

Because E = mc2, as Einstein noted, which is to say the one universal energy is inherently everything visible and touchable, it must be the case that life is a boomerang. Ultimately.

In short, life is but a mirror in which we each get to see our own character reflected. For this reason, selfish people attract selfish lovers!

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IV. Psychological Fact #3

People are naturally attracted to people who like their sense of humor.
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Let’s face it: we all think, better yet, know we’re undercover comedians! For this reason, when someone attempts to be funny, ahem, if you can’t force a laugh — at the very least — force a smile.

Why? 

People are naturally attracted to people who like their sense of humor. 

Ever notice at a social gathering comprised mostly of strangers that when, say, Bob cracks a joke and Dave roars with laughter, ol’ Bob naturally leans closer to Dave’s side of the table?

In short, psychology suggests — few things rival the feeling of approval that accompanies knowing another person shares your sense of humor. 

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V. Psychological Fact About Attraction #4

We’re naturally attracted to people who occasionally challenge our beliefs.

In a classic scene from the film Coming to America, Prince Akeem meets his bride-to-be for the first time. Apparently, their two powerful families had arranged the marriage. In short, the princess Imani had been groomed to do whatever her royal husband commanded. 

The scene unfolded as follows: 

Prince Akeem: Are you saying that no matter what I tell you to do, you will do?
Imani Izzi: Yes, Your Highness.
Prince Akeem: Anything I say, you’ll do?
Imani Izzi: Yes, Your Highness.
Prince Akeem: Bark like a dog.
Imani Izzi: Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!
Prince Akeem: A big dog.
Imani Izzi: Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!
Prince Akeem: Hop on one leg.
Imani Izzi: [hops on one leg] Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!

In short, just as Prince Akeem ditched the overly agreeable princess, the same rule holds in real-life. Here lies the DNA of the expression — nice guys finish last. 

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VI. Psychological Fact About Attraction #5

People are attracted to eccentric people.
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Pic: Jean-Pierre Dalbéra/Flickr

“All the world’s a stage,” wrote The Bard, and at present — this platform is occupied by a whopping 7,800,000,000 actors! And so, it stands to reason: 

The only way to stand-out from the crowd is to stand-in isolation.

No wonder Michael Jackson used to prance around carrying a chimp in one hand and a glittery glove on the other. After all, people naturally gravitate to what’s off-beat, even eccentric. 

I recall a beautiful girl asking for my phone number after one of our basketball games. These were her exact words: “I noticed all your teammates wearing Nikes but you had on a pair of Chuck Taylors. I was like, aww, he’s so cute!” 

All the while she’s talking, I’m thinking in my head: 

Babe, the only reason I wore Chucks is that, since I’m the 12th man on the team and all, I knew before the game that you and I would end up with the same amount of playing time. And so, might as well let my bunions be comfortable while watching from the bench. 

In short, that experience taught me an invaluable lesson: people are attracted to eccentric people!

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VII. In Closing

“Science,” said Einstein, is nothing but the refinement of common-sense. After all, common-sense is a philosophy! And so, in addition to the above psychological facts, there are countless others rooted in common-sense. 

From “people are naturally attracted to people who ask questions about them” to “people like happy people,” I could go on and on. 

Yet if I were to extend this article beyond the 5-minute window, and thus violate Shakespeare’s rule that brevity is the DNA of wit, I’d be guilty of breaking one of the psychological facts of attraction!

In short, here lies—five psychological facts about attracting people

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My writing is popular in academia (biology, psychology, etc.) and on websites such as Quora (millions of views) and Medium. Also, I'm signed to the same literary agency as Eckhart Tolle. In short, my sole mission in life is to serve my brothers and sisters from all walks of life. http://finalspeciescode.com/

New York City, NY
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