The dangers of trying to “fix” a narcissist or change their behavior

Journey & Joy Newsletter

Today we’re going to talk about the dangers of trying to “fix” a narcissist or change their behavior.

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Step 1: Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Before we dive into why it’s dangerous to try to change a narcissist, it’s important to understand what Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is. NPD is a mental health condition that affects a person’s ability to empathize with others and regulate their emotions. People with NPD have an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a need for admiration.

Step 2: Recognizing the Limitations of Therapy

While therapy can be helpful for people with NPD, it’s important to recognize its limitations. People with NPD often struggle with therapy because they have difficulty acknowledging their faults or taking responsibility for their actions. Even if they do acknowledge their faults, they may not be willing to put in the work to change their behavior.

Step 3: The Danger of Trying to Change a Narcissist

Trying to change a narcissist can be dangerous for several reasons. First, it can be emotionally exhausting for the person trying to change them.

Narcissists often resist change, which can lead to frustration, disappointment, and feelings of helplessness for the person trying to change them.

Second, trying to change a narcissist can also be dangerous for the narcissist themselves. Because narcissists have a fragile sense of self, any criticism or attempts to change them can be seen as an attack on their identity. This can lead to them lashing out or becoming defensive, which can be harmful to both themselves and others around them.

Step 4: Focusing on Your Own Boundaries

Instead of trying to change a narcissist, it’s important to focus on setting and maintaining your own boundaries. This means identifying what behaviors you are willing to tolerate and what behaviors are deal-breakers for you. It also means communicating those boundaries clearly and consistently.

Step 5: Seeking Support

Dealing with a narcissist can be difficult, and it’s important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Having a support system can provide you with a safe space to process your feelings and can also give you the strength and courage to maintain your boundaries.

In conclusion, while it may be tempting to try to change a narcissist, it’s important to recognize the limitations of therapy and the dangers of attempting to change them. Instead, focus on setting and maintaining your own boundaries and seek support to help you navigate the situation.

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