Feeling "Adrift in Love"? Failing relationships share these 3 qualities.
You’re in love. You’ve been together a while. But something doesn’t feel quite right. Your relationship feels almost incomplete, like something is missing. It’s not like your partner treats you poorly, and you’re not totally unhappy. But if you’re honest, you’re not super happy either.Read full story
Flirt at your own risk. Research reveals that being flirted with can threaten your relationship.
Being the object of someone else's affection can threaten your own relationship.Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels. You love your partner. You would never dream of cheating on them. While you may not be looking for another partner, others may be looking for you.Read full story
Research reveals the importance of partners' love languages matching for happy relationships.
What's your love language? How about your partner's? Whether you're matched matters.Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is one of the most widely read relationship books ever published with 11 million+ readers. The basic premise of “Love Languages” is that each of us has a way we prefer to experience and express love (Egbert & Polk, 2006).Read full story
For the best relationship, research finds that you should date within your league.
When looking for a partner, should you really seek highest quality partner possible?Freestocks/Unsplash. What you want, may not be what's best for you and your relationship. When looking for your ideal partner, what do you want? Ideally it's someone who is super attractive, smart, with a great personality, and solid values. In other words, we want someone with the highest mate value possible. Imagine a ranking system for potential partners’ mate value with a 10 point scale where one's are the worst and tens are the best. On this scale, we'd all really love to land a 10 out of 10. Who wouldn’t want to date a celebrity or supermodel? That’s what we want.Read full story
Research shows men may be the real romantics in relationships.
Who says "I love you" first in relationships? Men or women?cottonbro/pexels. Relationships are full of milestones and saying “I love you” is a big step for any couple. Those three simple words transform what might be a causal arrangement into something much more serious. “I love you” suggests a higher level of dedication and greater commitment to the relationship’s future. Saying “I love you” is also romantic. It’s a sweet and loving phrase that communicates how strongly you feel toward your partner.Read full story
Research shows you get a better night’s sleep, when you sleep next to your romantic partner.
Sharing your bed with your romantic partner may be better for you than you think.Toa Heftiba/Unsplash. A couple’s sleeping arrangements is a common hot topic in relationships. Whether it’s the temperature of the room, having the TV on, or the position in which you sleep, there’s lots of potential for conflict.Read full story
36 questions to help you better know yourself.
These research-based reflections can help individuals enhance their self-understanding.Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels. There is a well-known set of 36 questions that helps two strangers get to know each other, and potentially fall in love. These questions, popularized in the NY Times article “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love,” were created by my Ph.D. advisor, Arthur Aron. The questions’ goal was to fast-track friendship, build closeness, and perhaps spark romantic interest. (You can read the original research article here; it includes all 36 closeness-building questions at the end.)Read full story
Research examines how factors like wedding planning and picking out a dress lead people to call off their wedding.
What were the most common factors that led people to call off their wedding?Victoria Priessnitz/Unsplash. From the time we meet our partner until we say “I do” there is often a natural momentum to our relationship’s journey. We meet, date, make it exclusive, introduce our partner to friends and family, get engaged, plan the wedding, and then walk down the aisle. Each step along the way requires greater investments of time and energy, and signals greater commitment. The further we get down the path, the harder it is to turn back.Read full story
The 4-Hour Relationship: Prioritizing one's relationship for just 4 hours a week can produce benefits.
Spend your time wisely with 5 ways to make time for novel or challenging experiences to improve your relationship..Photo by JD's. Have you ever felt like it’s hard to find the time in your life for even the most important things, such as your romantic partner? In fact, because your partner loves you, it may feel safer to neglect your relationship while you prioritize other things like your career.Read full story
What will the pandemic's legacy be for couples and daters? COVID-19's long tail for our romantic relationships
COVID-19 has forever changed much about daily life, our relationships included. Perhaps for the better.Surprising_Shots. The pandemic provided an unexpected boost for couples, but new data show relationships are returning back to normal.Read full story
What makes people feel more (or less) inclined to get married? Research reveals that the ups and downs matter.
What makes people feel more (or less) inclined to get married?Brett Jordan/Unsplash. Relationship decisions are rarely as clear-cut as “should I stay or should I go?” Instead, people experience subtle shifts in their commitment that build up over time. For example, what contributes to how serious we are about marrying our partner? Relationship researchers Laura Machia and Brian Ogolsky sought to find out by interviewing participants in stable relationships. During each of eight monthly interviews, 464 participants indicated how serious their relationship was by rating how likely it was they’d marry their current partner – “0% if they were certain they would never marry their partner or never thought about marriage, and 100% if they were certain they would marry their partner in the future.” Each time their “commitment to wed” percentage shifted from one interview to the next, researchers asked why.Read full story
Break ups don't have to leave you broken. Research shows how growth is possible following relationship loss.
Kintsugi is an art form and philosophy that views negative experiences as an opportunity to emerge better off.Riho Kitagawa/Unsplash. Every relationship starts the same way. Full of hope.Read full story
In relationships, "how much is too much?" Research explores how many dealbreakers it takes to doom a couple.
All relationship have problems, but how much is too much?Niranjan _ Photographs/Unsplash. Early in a relationship, everyone is on their best behavior. Both partners emphasize their best traits, while carefully concealing their flaws.Read full story
Should couples share their money, or keep it separate? Research reveals which approach is best for lasting love.
When it comes to money, what's the best way to grow your relationship?micheile .com/Unsplash. It’s a dilemma every new couple faces: How should we handle our money?. There are two key ways to handle your money as a couple:Read full story
What makes a person more likely to cheat? Research suggests personality is important.
What kind of person is most likely to cheat on their partner?Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash. It’s the ultimate betrayal: Cheating. Research on infidelity has explored many facets of the experience, including how often it happens, qualities in a relationship that may lead to cheating, and traits of those who are more likely to cheat (Fincham & May, 2017).Read full story
Research shows the best relationships build and grow the self.
The best relationships build and grow the self. How's your relationship doing?Allen Taylor/Unsplash. Does your relationship make you a better person? If it isn't, there may be consequences.Read full story
The biology of relationship infidelity: How hormones may influence whether our partner cheats
To what extent is cheating behavior at the mercy of biological factors?Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition/Unsplash. In the movie Unfaithful, which many consider the gold standard among films about infidelity, Diane Lane’s character seems to have it all: a nice house, kids, and a hunky, albeit slightly boring, husband (Richard Gere). Yet, following a chance encounter with an attractive younger man (Olivier Martinez), she finds herself being, well, unfaithful. Why would she risk the stability in her reasonably happy marriage by cheating?Read full story
Deciding whether to leave your relationship with the flip of a coin.
Deciding whether to breakup may be as easy as flipping a coin.Photo by Chris Briggs on Unsplash. Determining whether it’s best to stick with your relationship or end things is a tough decision. Knowing what’s right is hard, and figuring out what’s best seems impossible. As difficult as it may be, the solution might just be deceptively simple: Flip a coin.Read full story
Four research-based strategies to strengthen your relationship.
Every relationship needs a maintenance plan. What's yours?Nathan Dumlao/Unsplash. Early on, relationships are easy. Everything is new and exciting. You go on dates, take trips, spend time together, and intentionally cultivate experiences that allow your relationship to grow.Read full story
Research on deciding your relationship future reveals 27 reasons to stay, 23 to leave.
What do people consider when thinking about staying, marrying or going?Vladislav Babienko/Unsplash. “Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise.” ―Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving.Read full story