What to do when your loved one says something that makes you feel like you’re not worth it anymore

Feting Blue

You love someone. Maybe your husband, maybe your girlfriend, maybe the guy across the street who sweeps the sidewalk every morning. But one day, they say something that makes you feel like you’re not worth it anymore — which is probably why they said it in the first place.

What do you do in this situation? Do you stay and argue about how wrong she/he is because that feels better? That’s a mistake.

When someone says something hurtful, it’s usually because they feel hurt. And usually, when they feel hurt, they take it out on the closest person to them — that’s you. This is not a reason to stick around and argue.

Arguing will only make the situation worse. Getting angry and trying to prove your worthiness is not going to help you in any way. In fact, it will just push your partner further away.

So, now that we’ve talked about what not to do. Let’s talk about what you should do — because then you will start to notice that your relationship is healing.

Next time someone says something that hurts you deeply, take a step back and listen. Hear them out. They may be saying it for a reason. Maybe they feel like they aren’t good enough for you, or maybe they feel like you aren’t good enough for them.

Whatever it is, give them a chance to explain themselves. You may feel like it isn’t worth your time, but trust me, it is. You might learn something about your partner that will help you grow together...

If the words are still hurtful and unchanging even after the explanation, then it’s probably time to move on — but not before then. Until then, try to understand what they mean and why they said what they said.

When you do that, it will leave you with two options. Either you will be with the person because they deserve to be there and worth staying for, or you’ll realize that they don’t deserve to be in your life anymore.

Either way, respect yourself by choosing not to stay in a relationship where someone hurts you.

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