I don’t care who you are or how little of a heart you have, everyone loves a good chuckle. It’s just a fact. And honestly, nothing has made me chuckle more lately since I moved to Orlando than Florida Man headlines. Sure, much like the rest of the world I was aware of Florida Man, but not until I moved here did I really start to appreciate the beauty of Florida Man headlines.
Seeing these WTF moments splashed across the news and devouring them while shaking my head with laughter has become a ritual of sorts. And I’d like to do it with you today, because I haven’t had my daily Florida Man News checkup. And Goodness, I’d love a laugh. So let’s go.
1. "Pair spent two days locked in (unlocked) closet"
I absolutely lost my mind when I read this headline. And the story only made it funnier and harder to breath, even if it was a very scary situation for the couple involved. John Arwood and Amber Campbell spent two full days inside a janitor’s closet that was unlocked, though he thought he was trapped inside.
The two spent two full days inside before calling the cops, when they were arrested for trespassing. Police found "feces and scouring pads used to smoke cr--- coc---". Amber also earned charges for breaking her parole, and Atwood has priors including armed robbery and theft of firearms. Great. I don't feel bad for laughing then.
2. "Florida Man Tries To Evade Arrest by Cartwheeling Away From Cops"
If you don't bust up laughing reading this headline or at least give a little "tee-hee", you have no soul. Seriously, you're heartless. And the story just makes it even funnier. According to the NY Post, the man in the footage was "caught on camera trying to evade arrest — by cartwheeling away from the police." When officers attempted to remove the man who was blocking the exit of a truck at a Wawa, the man somehow turns into a ninja and does a "flip in the middle of the roadway."
Officers struggled to take him down, but when the man escaped and cartwheeled away, that was the end. Do yourself a favor and watch the video. You're welcome.
3. "Florida man washes ashore in bubble he intended to ride to New York"
When I tell you this headline made me cackle! Please. I cannot. And, as usual, the story just makes it funnier.
According to a story from April of 2021 published by Orlando Weekly, The Flagler County Sheriff's Office says that Reza Baluchi, the man in the bubble, "began his trip in St. Augustine on Friday and washed ashore in The Hammock area near Palm Coast, well south of his launch point." Police continued on to say that "Baluchi had come across 'some complications that brought him back to shore.'"
The Coast Guard will be handling the case to see if the "vessel is USCG compliant." At least it was for a very good cause. Baluchi said he wanted to "raise money for homeless people, raise money for the Coast Guard, raise money for the police department, raise money for the fire department. They are in public service, they do it for safety and they help other people." His final destination was Bermuda.
Did any of these Florida Man headlines make you laugh? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!