A Message in a bottle

Euri Giles | Clareifi

It Hurts

A Message in a bottle…

There’s a knot in the back of your throat, that you only get relief from when it moves to another part of your body.

It moves into the pit of your stomach.

Sometimes you feel it around your heart.

Other times it’s a sharp pain between your shoulder blades.

It can show up as a dull pain in your head.

Either way… It hurts.

You’ve always been self aware. You realize that you’re not the first person to go through difficulties. You surely won’t be the last. But right now, your reality is that… It hurts.

You think of people next to you in traffic, sitting in their cars. You wonder, are they ok? Do they hurt?

Do they have to go through the same things that you do? Life can be hard… Sometimes… It hurts.

It hurts when you get bullied as a kid. You grow up. You get over it? But… It still hurts. It hurts when you have kids of your own, and you want to protect them from everything… but you can't.

It hurts when your own family and friends can’t see you for who you truly are, or they don’t like it…

The people you thought would be there for you forever… Aren’t.

People grow apart for different reasons.

You commit to making time for yourself, and the people that are truly there for you, but when you think about the past…

It hurts.

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=45XsWV_0YLIh59z00Image credit — Adam Birkett — Unsplash

It hurts when you learn about all of the things that were kept from you growing up. You didn’t know that everybody hurt. You were just a kid…

The truth… Hurts.

You tell yourself that you can do better… You can overcome the hurt. You make good choices. But somehow… It finds you, and…

It hurts.

You thought you finally made it… You were doing great at your job. The day that you got fired… That hurt.

It hurts when your baby has to have open heart surgery… It hurts to know that it might not be the last.

It hurts when your dad doesn’t know who you are anymore because Alzheimer’s has taken over his brain.

It hurts every time that you find your mom unconscious… Every time she doesn’t respond to you, and you start to think the worst… One day the worst will be reality, and…

That hurts.

You think you know how to make yourself feel better…

You numb yourself with mindlessness. You watch TV. You spend too much time on Instagram. You make excuses not to write.

You turn to alcohol, or drugs. Anything to stop the pain. It’s too much and…

It hurts.

Yet finally, you’re able to find joy. It’s actually all around you.

There are people in your life that love you, and will support you to the end.

Your wife and kids love you unconditionally.

You feel a connection like never before. Now you're inspired. Inspired to be better. Inspired to do great things for them.

Do great things…

For yourself?

You distract yourself with… Life.

But somehow, somewhere deep inside of you… It still hurts.

Are you letting the negativity win? You say that your just being a realist?

You can choose to be happy right? It’s a choice…


Be happy with where you are, with who you are. The plans you’ve made. Be positive, and move forward believing that there are better days ahead.

No matter how much you keep telling yourself that… You can’t hang onto the feeling, because…

When all is said and done…

It still hurts.

Losing control scares you. It’s been happening more and more.

Now you recognize the panic attacks for what they are. I never had anxiety like this before you say…

Did I say that out loud?

Oh no! You think…

Now I’m talking to myself?!

I hate that it hurts!

Maybe if I write it down.

Maybe if I say it out loud and share it with whoever will listen.

Maybe then…

You can feel better.

If everyone knows.

It hurts.

That’s what I’ll do…

I’ll write it down.

I’ll write what comes out of my heart.

Like a message in a bottle.

I’ll let it go.

To whoever finds it…

This hurt.

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Euri Giles covers lifestyle content, politics, and news near you in Texas.

El Paso, TX

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