A woman took to Reddit to discuss her anger over her sister's refusal to attend her wedding. Her sister wants to skip her nuptials because she's afraid that her "trauma" over her husband's death will be triggered if she goes.
Her husband died only ten days after she wed him. Even though this happened six years ago, she still feels worried that attending another wedding will bring back all those bad memories.
The soon-to-be bride isn't buying this excuse though. She says her sister is just being "selfish."
Apparently, this sister already knew that her husband was going to die before they were even wed as he had late-stage cancer. In fact, that was the only reason they got married.
Plus, he died six years ago! This woman shares: "Honestly I feel like this trauma thing is just an excuse."
She adds that she believes the real reason her sister doesn't want to attend her wedding is because they've always had a "rocky relationship."
This woman simply feels that her sister "should put that aside and support me during my biggest day."
Linda Donovan, a grief support advocate, says it's normal to feel triggered at events like weddings after the death of your spouse.
Even though this woman's sister's husband died six years ago, this woman should still have more compassion for her sister's grief.
Yes, the man had late-stage cancer. Still, this woman should respect her sister's feelings about her late husband.
And yet, Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, told Brides that not attending your sibling's wedding could destroy that relationship.
While you should never feel obligated to attend a wedding you don't want to be a part of, think carefully if the reason you are using will hold up years later when you look back on it.
If there is a rift in this family, not attending a sibling's wedding will just deepen it.
Donovan believes that it's possible to overcome one's triggers surrounding special events by looking at the event in a different way. In terms of this wedding, Donovan feels that this sister should instead: "Focus on the joy of the day."
Yes, this sister's husband died only ten days after her wedding. It's normal to feel depressed when weddings come around.
Still, she has a lot to lose by not attending her sister's wedding. Of course, this woman is angry about it. She should be.
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