A woman took to Reddit to ask for advice on how to deal with a family impasse. Her sister is getting married, and the wedding is a child-free event. This woman is pregnant. On the date of the wedding, she will have a five-month-old baby.
Seeing that she will not be child-free when the wedding is taking place, she asked her sister if there could be an exception to her rule. This woman will be nursing a baby during that timeframe. She doesn't feel comfortable leaving the baby with a sitter at such a young age either.
The sister still said no. Children are not allowed at the wedding, period. As such, this woman decided to beg off from attending her sister's ceremony.
Her sister is quite angry about this. She expects the support of all her family members. This woman is supposed to give a speech! She is the sister of the bride, after all.
The sister tried to push a sitter on this woman, claiming she has friends who are trusted to look after the baby. The only person this woman feels comfortable caring for her baby, though, is her mother. Unfortunately, this sister wants their mom to be in attendance at the event as well.
The common opinion of other Reddit users is that while you're perfectly free to have a child-free wedding, you can't demand that a relative attend. One user even called out this sister for prioritizing not interacting with children over celebrating with family.
But the fact is, more and more people are having child-free weddings these days. Sarah Wintersteen, a wedding planner in Dallas, Texas, told Glamour that about 60% of the couples she works with choose child-free or child-limited weddings.
One reason people opt for child-free weddings is the cost. Weddings can be expensive events. The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. in 2020 was $20,300.
Adding children to the guest list can increase the cost even further. As such, some couples opt to save money by having an adult-only wedding.
Other people simply want formal weddings. Having children present may not fit with the atmosphere or tone the couple is trying to create for their nuptials. We all know that children can create distractions or disruptions that a couple may prefer to avoid. Who wants to hear a crying baby when they're saying their vows?
Or they want a more party-oriented wedding. Wisconsin-based wedding planner Meredith Bartel, told Glamour: “Would you bring young children to the club? I wouldn’t.”
And yet, even though each couple is free to make their choice about whether to invite children or not to their wedding, they have to prepare for some guests to be angry about this rule. A woman named Samantha, who threw a child-free wedding, told Glamour: "You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who are acting like I requested they throw their kids off a bridge or put them up for adoption."
A survey conducted by YouGov found that while 41% of people do approve of a couple asking guests not to bring children to a wedding, 37% do not. Child-free weddings are still not wholly socially accepted across the board.
And in the case of this woman where it's common knowledge she'll have a baby to take care of when her sister's wedding is taking place, it's understandable that she's offended by her sister's decision to ban kids from the event. No wonder she's refusing to attend.
Ultimately, it's up to this sister to decide whether or not she wants to make an exception and allow this woman to bring her baby to the wedding. However, if she decides to stick to her original plan, she can't be angry that her sister doesn't want to attend.
What's your opinion on this matter? Are you for or against child-free weddings? Is this pregnant woman doing the right thing by telling her sister she won't attend her child-free wedding? Let me know in the comments!
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