A woman named Shari wrote to Newsweek to describe her distress over her son's refusal to invite her sister to his wedding. Apparently, this sister in question has always been terrible to Shari. She has wanted little to do with Shari's son either, even though she is his aunt and godmother.
Unfortunately, Shari's family has always taken this sister's side. Shari wanted her to be invited to the wedding, only so her family wouldn't turn her back on her.
Because this aunt wasn't invited, she is now giving Shari the silent treatment. And yes, Shari's family has sided with the sister.
Shari is suffering from health issues as a result of the stress. In Shari's opinion, it would have been better just to allow this toxic family member to attend the wedding. She would have preferred not to rock the boat.
But look at this situation from her son's perspective. The only people who have stood by Shari through all this have been her own children.
Shari's son has watched her being mistreated for years. So when he decided to get married, he simply refused to invite his aunt, even if she is family and his godmother.
This decision seems like the logical one to many of us. This aunt has made Shari's life a living hell for years. It's the rational choice to exclude her from the wedding.
In fact, Shari should have wanted the same thing. Why would she want this toxic sibling to be present on her son's special day?
Apparently, this sister is also married to an alcoholic and denies he has a problem.
But strangely, instead of being proud that her son stood up to his aunt and refused to invite her to his wedding, Shari is upset about this.
She would have preferred to suffer at the wedding with her sister in attendance than endure the consequences of her family's disapproval. I think that Shari's son made the right choice though. Shari is in the wrong here. Yes, even if she's suffering from health ailments as a result of all the drama.
Shari's son had to consider how inviting his toxic aunt might have affected him on his wedding day. She would have surely caused tension and stress.
She most likely would have made Shari unhappy as well. And yet, if you make the decision not to invite a certain relative to your wedding, this can cause a rift in the family.
As bad as Shari feels, though, parents can't demand their child invite a certain person to their wedding. Besides, going no contact with this sister seems like the best choice.
Shari is sick because of all the drama. Toxic family members can cause stress-related illnesses in the people they're closest to.
Shari should be prioritizing self-care to recover from this tense situation, instead of trying to placate toxic family members by keeping the peace.
Seeking out the support of a therapist also seems like a good thing to do at this point. This can help Shari to process her emotions and develop better coping strategies for dealing not only with her toxic sister but with her family as well.
It's hard to cut out a toxic relative and even go no contact with your extended family. But if they treat you like garbage, sometimes it's the only choice.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments.
Please also consider buying me a coffee. I'm a single mom supporting two kids on my own and the proceeds of your generosity go toward helping them.
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