A young woman recently took to Reddit about dumping her boyfriend's dinner on the floor after he called her a gendered slur and then tried to excuse it as just a TikTok trend.
The woman relates in her post: "I made pasta and a chunky sauce with meatballs and veggies. I told him dinner was ready and he goes 'what's for dinner tonight, B*TCH'... With like a lot of emphasis on the last word."
When he called her that hurtful name, she saw red and then made him red too, literally. She dropped the pot of marinara sauce on the floor and it splattered everywhere.
Then she stormed out of the house and got herself takeout to eat at her friend's place. Meanwhile, her boyfriend texted her his excuse: " 'What's for dinner tonight b*tch' was a TikTok trend."
He said it was just a joke.
This woman didn't see it as a joke though. She said calling her that word was demeaning and disrespectful. "If you needed to be told that is unkind, consider yourself officially told."
She responded that women don't exactly like being called that name, even in joking.
Then she put her phone on mute and went to bed, spending the night at her friend's pad. In the morning, she woke up to a bunch of texts from her boyfriend, demanding she return to clean up the mess she'd made.
The marinara sauce was still on the floor. She'd been making dinner at his place, after all. The least she could do was clean up after herself.
"Yeah so that's the b*tch tax, honey," she responded tartly. She also wrote back that she was going to start her own TikTok trend called "saucing," adding, "You can't be mad because it's just a little trend, a little jokey joke..."
Many TikTok trends are dangerous.
That's the thing with TikTok. Trends can be fun—and funmy—but they can also be mean, and even dangerous.
Take the "dry-scooping trend." Instead of consuming pre-workout powder with water, influencers called on fans to swallow it dry for enhanced effects. One person claimed to have a heart attack after completing the challenge.
The "Orbeez challenge" required people to shoot Orbeez, tiny water-absorbent polymer beads, at random strangers with gel blaster guns.
The "milk crate challenge" called on people to walk on towers made of milk crates. A woman fell as a result and sustained severe injuries.
The list goes on.
So clearly, a lot of TikTok trends are downright dangerous. Those that don't necessarily lead to life-threatening injuries are simply toxic. Take the "devious licks" trend on TikTok that challenged middle and high school students to post videos of themselves vandalizing their schools. No one got physically hurt in that challenge but it was definitely cruel.
The "what's for dinner tonight, b*tch" trend is just as cruel. One could even say it's psychologically abusive.
Sarcasm is detrimental in relationships.
This woman's boyfriend might claim that he was just joking around. But his joke was mean and sarcastic.
Psychologist Bernard Golden, Ph.D., says that sarcasm is destructive in relationships. He warns, "While it may feel good for the moment, extensive sarcasm may only exacerbate the likelihood of feeling hurt." In short, if you're sarcastic to your partner, you'll also feel the sting.
Dr. Golden also shares that sarcasm fuels "a sense of isolation that builds resentment" in the recipient of the sarcastic remark. As you can see, there was no way this woman was going to feel okay about what her boyfriend said to her.
You could also make the argument that his words constituted verbal abuse. Such abuse often consists of the abuser accusing the victim of being overly sensitive or claiming the insult was just a joke and the victim has no sense of humor.
And then when this woman's boyfriend demanded she come back to clean up "her mess"? Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D, a professor at the University of Miami, says any form of ordering around your partner is abuse.
Of course, this woman did come right back with the same sarcasm. I think it's safe to say these two have some work to do on their relationship if they want to stay together.
What do you think? Do you think this man was just joking? Did she simply take his joke too seriously? Or was she justified in dumping his dinner on the floor? Let me know in the comments.