I’m Watching My Ex Plan His Marriage to a New Woman and I’m Not Jealous at All

Elle Silver

His happiness is making him a better dad to our two children. 

My ex-husband was over at my place to visit our children a few months ago when he asked if I wanted to see the video of him proposing to his new fiancée. I said sure and watched the clip of them beside a beautiful lake, my ex down on one knee, asking his girlfriend to marry him.

In another video, she had tears streaming down her face as she showed off the huge diamond ring on her finger, which my ex had just given her. Some people might think this would have made me feel jealous. I am yet to get remarried. I don’t have a new diamond ring sparkling on my finger.

In fact, I gave my ex-husband back the diamond engagement ring he gifted me when he asked me to marry him. Why did I do this? My ex wanted to sell my ring to pay for the new ring for this new fiancée.

The audacity, right? Yes, I felt annoyed to give back what I thought was my ring to keep. Trust me — in doing that, I even felt remorse that our relationship hadn’t worked out.

I felt sad that our marriage had ended in divorce. I felt the same way thinking back to my ex asking me to marry him.

He also proposed to me beside a beautiful lake. I also had tears streaming down my face as I gazed at the new huge diamond engagement ring on my finger.

But then we spent many years unhappily married. We argued constantly. We were ultimately miserable together. 

I’m so glad we’re divorced!

So now my ex is getting remarried…. I’m happy for him. I'm even relieved.

I hurt him by divorcing him. I was the one who left the marriage. And so, if anything, in witnessing my ex’s plan to remarry, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.

I certainly don’t feel jealous.

My recommendation for all ex-couples is to get to a place where they can rejoice in each other’s new relationships. Above all, you should not feel envious that they’ve moved on. 

This is especially necessary if you have children together.

My ex-husband was in bad shape after our divorce and could not help me with our children. 

I have to be honest: I have an ulterior motive in wanting my ex-husband to be happy again — especially if that means remarrying. I want him to be a better father to our children. 

My ex had a lot of problems in the wake of our split. As I said, I left him. I hurt him terribly by asking for a divorce.

My ex’s difficult reaction to our divorce made my life very hard. 

He lost his job because he was so depressed. He was too messed up to look for new work. 

As such, he wasn’t giving me any money. I had to provide for our two children all on my own. 

Since then, my ex has found work again. In fact, he’s found a new career as a high school teacher. 

He’s no longer depressed. He’s gotten his life back together again.

I can thank his new relationship for this.

Back when my ex was so depressed after we first got divorced, I also didn’t feel safe leaving our children alone with him. He was not in a good place psychologically. He couldn’t care for our kids on his own. 

He was absent-minded and didn’t watch our children very carefully when he was with them. They were always getting into trouble when he was in charge.

I feared for their safety. As I didn’t feel comfortable leaving our children with my ex back then, this also made my life very difficult.

I was the sole caretaker of our children. You can imagine how hard this was for me.

Caring for two children is a two-person job. I could hardly manage to do this on my own.

As such, I’m so happy that my ex is doing much better today. These days, he not only takes great care of our children but also cares for his fiancée’s two kids.

He takes all the kids to amusement parks, to the movies, and to eat. Our children are happier as a result.

This is all due to my ex-husband’s relationship with this new woman. It’s for the best for all of us that my ex is tying the knot again.

I’m glad to watch it happen. I’m not jealous at all.

I’m not jealous that my ex is getting remarried — I’m ecstatic.

Recently, my ex-husband was over at my place again to visit our children when he had to take a moment away from helping our eldest son study for a Social Studies test to hop on a phone call with a wedding DJ. My ex and his fiancée are considering hiring this DJ for their wedding.

As I listened to my ex interview this DJ, asking him about the type of music he typically plays at weddings, I wasn’t jealous. I don’t care that my ex is planning his wedding with a new woman in front of me.

If anything, I'm happy for him. This is my point in writing this.

I think that all divorced couples should try to get to this point: just be happy for your ex as they move on in life. This is especially important if you have children together. 

Your ex's happiness in a new relationship will make your life easier.

As such, you should be glad to watch them get remarried. You definitely shouldn't be jealous.

Please leave a comment below if you agree. 

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I write about dating, marriage, divorce, family, society, and the city I live in: Los Angeles.

Los Angeles, CA

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