The beginning stages of a romantic relationship is fun. You get to learn all about a person; their likes and dislikes. This is the time where you observe whether or not this person is long term partner potential. This is also the time when a lot of people ignore what they tag as minor character flaws.
Observing a potential lifelong partner is important because you don’t want to be stuck with someone you aren’t compatible with, longterm. Paying attention to red flags when dating someone can help you avoid a disaster of a relationship down the line.
If the red flags are jarring enough, you won’t need to waste time further observing your potential mate because you’ll know that a future with them is pointless.
How do you know the difference between a minor character flaw and an actual red flag? Here are a few red flags that you need to pay attention to when dating.
No ‘real’ Dates
Have you ever met someone who always wants to meet at their house? They come up with every excuse to only see you indoors and don’t ever take you out. There are two possibilities here.
Either they only want to sleep with you, are embarrassed of you, or have someone else and can’t parade you around town.
It is not natural for a stranger to shower you with I love you and make you the center of their attention. You’re probably wondering how you can tell the difference between someone showing you sincere affection and someone being fake.
The best advice I can give you is to listen to your intuition. If the affection you’re receiving feels too good to be true, it probably is.
Bad Relationship With Parents
The relationship between father and mother is usually the first example of what we believe a relationship should be. If the person you’re dating has a broken relationship with their parents, or parent, you should pay close attention. Don’t be afraid to ask what the conflict is and why it happened.
If you notice the person you’re dating doesn’t show respect to the people closest to them, it is highly likely they will treat you the same way. Also, if you stay with someone who has an on-going family conflict, you could get dragged into the conflict at some point.
You cannot get to know someone if they aren’t willing to open up about themselves. If you’re asking questions and they aren’t answering your questions, they could have something to hide. Some topics are hard to discuss at first, but if the person you’re dating is serious about a relationship, they will be willing to let you into their world.
I can’t think of any time I was evasive with someone but was interested in a relationship. Evasiveness and relationships don't work well together.
Lack Of Communication Or Interest
I was associated with a man who sent a lot of memes but had no interest in a real conversation. We worked different schedules and he often sent me inappropriate messages while I was working. No matter how I explained it to him not to send me things like that...ever, he never listened. I hesitate to claim this as actually happening, but it did.
I’d never met such a weird person but he had no communication skills and he wasn’t interested in what made me comfortable or uncomfortable. He only cared about making himself laugh.
Disappearing And Reappearing
You know the people who you spend a few weeks getting to know and then they disappear without a word. Suddenly, a few weeks later, they pop up usually through text with a lovely “Hi”. This surprisingly happens a lot more than it should but you don’t need to feel obligated to let someone like that into your life.
No matter what excuses you try to make for the person, there’s almost no reason to simply disappear on someone like that. Unless their fingers were broken, they could’ve let you know what was going on.
They didn't get in touch because they didn’t want to.
You Have Nothing In Common
There’s no rule that says you have to like everything your partner enjoys, but it does help if you have some common interests. It’s okay to be attracted to someone who seemingly lives outside of the world you live in.
However, the possibility of a relationship lasting when you have absolutely nothing in common with each other is low.
To avoid falling into a relationship with someone who clearly exhibits red flags, don’t make excuses for their bad behavior or excuse something worrying as a minor character flaw. If you feel uncomfortable about dating someone and you can’t determine if you’re being unrealistic, let the relationship go.