It's actually pretty easy to know if you’re making the right choices.
It can be hard to tell the difference between pushing through a rough patch and settling for second best.
Should you accept what you can’t change, go with the flow, and do your best with what you have?
Is it better to hang in there until things turn around?
Or are you forcing yourself to settle for what simply isn’t working?
Sometimes lines get blurred and it’s easy to second guess your gut and heart if you don’t really know how to listen to them. Or if you don’t really want to listen to them.
If you take this quiz and listen to your feelings though, you can pretty much instantly tell if something is wrong or right.
Apply this to any situation if you need to gain some clarity, fast.
If you’re doing this exercise in earnest, I suggest you get a pen and paper or open a word document so you can write down your answers thoroughly and really explore your feelings.
But don’t answer like someone will read them. If you do it won’t work. This requires complete honesty.
Also, if you feel resistant or defensive, that contention is telling you something.
Close your eyes for a moment and think about whatever situation you need to get to the heart of.
Then open them, take a deep breath, and ask yourself these questions.
Your quiz begins now:
1. Do you feel good or bad about it?
I mean how do you really feel. Not how you’re trying to feel.
When you let your guard down, say when you jolt awake at 3 am and start obsessing, how do you feel then.
Is the underlying feeling good or bad?
When you think about it do you feel:
- Filled with dread
- Like you're giving too much
If the underlying sentiment is good, if the overall situation fills you with positivity, then even if you’re going through a rough patch, the situation is still positive.
You might have empathy or compassion for someone who causes you grief.
For example, you might love your job even if your boss isn’t great, they might be going through something that's making them act like a jerk and it’s out of character.
Maybe you don’t love your boss but there are ways to get promoted away from them.
You know the moment will pass and it’s worth it to hang in there.
But if it fills you with negativity or dread, then something about the situation is wrong.
If you feel bad, even though there is no outward sign of a problem, that probably means the situation isn't good.
You might dread going home to your roommate because they rub you the wrong way and have totally different living habits that just don’t jibe no matter how you try.
In that case, you may have made a bad choice to move in with that person.
2. Does it feel voluntary, or forced?
If something is good, you run towards it. You go to it (or them) willingly.
If that's the case, you’re satisfied with your choice.
If something feels forced, you'll feel like an unwilling participant.
If your job or relationship feels forced, that may be a hint that somethings not right.
3. Does it give you pride or shame?
If you’re satisfied, your choice will be more likely to be a source of pride.
If you are settling, you will be more likely to cause shame.
Do you tell people about your job or introduce your partner with pride?
Or do you shrink away from the subject?
4. Does it elevate you or drag you down?
If you feel like the situation or person brings out the best in you and makes you feel like your best self, then you are satisfied.
If the person or situation drags you down, makes you shrink, or feel “less than,” then you're probably settling.
5. Do you covet what others have?
When you’re satisfied, no matter what someone else has, it never looks that good compared to what you have.
If you find yourself constantly yearning for what others have (their job, life, husband, etc), you might be settling.
When you feel like you're settling, other people’s stuff always seems better than yours.
So if the grass is always greener over in your neighbor’s yard, it might be because you know you're not on the right lawn.
6. Can you see yourself with this in the future?
If you’re genuinely happy, you’ll be excited to picture your future.
The thought of it will fill you with promise and joy.
If you’re not quite thrilled with your situation but you see a better future filled with promise, it’s probably worth it to stick it out.
If you can’t picture yourself doing what you're doing in a year or the thought fills you with gloom, maybe you’ve settled.
This goes for relationships and jobs.
So there are a few things to consider when figuring out where your heart lies.
Evaluating your answers, and noticing how things make you feel, are all the clues you need to take you to the truth.
When deciding if you’re going through a bit of a stumble or if you’ve made a bad choice, it can help to ponder these questions.
Knowing the difference between being satisfied and settling in any situation can keep you from walking away from something you should stay with.
It can also help you leave when something’s not working and appreciate when it is.
I hope that’s been a helpful little exercise on your road to happiness.
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