Signs They Aren't In Love With You Anymore

E.B. Johnson

by: E.B. Johnson (Image via

Has your partner drifted away from you? Are they disappearing emotionally, or hurting you with small fights? Although we want to hold on to the love we share forever, that’s just not the way that life works out. Even when we start our partnerships in genuine love and respect, things don’t always end in the same way. Are you experiencing a temporary blip? Or is it time to admit the truth? Your partner may be pulling away because they’re not in love with you anymore.

Love is never guaranteed.

When we think of love, we generally think of “happily ever after” and fairy tales. That’s a far stretch from the reality of romantic love in the modern world, though, and miles removed from the experience of loving someone. Love is not easy, and it’s never guaranteed. Even when we manage to make it down the aisle to the altar, that doesn’t mean our partner will always be there — or even that we will love them when we get to the finish line.

Even at the altar, your love is not guaranteed to last forever.

Has your relationships started showing cracks? Is your partner picking fights with you? Are they going out of the way to hurt you or cut you out of their intimate lives? When things go cold in our relationships, we have to be honest about it. Though you might want to hold on for dear life, it could be time to admit that the fairy tale is over. Your partner may be falling out of love with you. If you think this is the case, it’s important to be honest and proactive in protecting your happiness and your emotional wellbeing.

Signs they're falling out of love with you.

When our partners begin to fade in love, the signs are obvious to see. Has your partner stopped talking? Have they grown cold, distant, or even hostile to you? While it may hurt to be honest, it’s the only way to reach the next stage of the process (and the inevitable healing that’s on the other side).

There’s no dialogue

What is communication like between you and your partner? Are they eager to talk to you when they come home? Do you find it easy to open up to them? Communication is important, and when we really love someone, we do it readily enough. When your partner doesn’t talk to you about what they want or need, it’s a major red flag. You may also notice that your conversations are always superficial and surface level. When you do manage to talk, it feels forced.

Showing zero affection

Does your partner show you a lot of affection? Do they go out of their way to let you know that you’re present in their thoughts? That they care what happens to you, and they want you to be in their life? Affection is an important component of a romantic relationship. Limited affection and intimacy on any level is always a warning sign we need to pay attention to. Is your partner showing you zero affection? It’s time to confront the truth.

You’re not a priority

Making our partners a priority is a must when it comes to building long-lasting and mutually enjoyable partnerships. When your partner stops making you a priority, you have to take note. The effort in the relationship may drop off entirely, and or it may change in all the worst ways. For example, they may start time with their friends over spending time with you. However it happens, it’s become clear that you and your needs aren’t a priority to your partner anymore.

Causing intentional damage

Is your partner hurting your feelings (and your heart) with their words and behavior? Have they started picking fights all the time? Disappearing and leaving you worried and insecure when it comes to their safety and your relationship? A partner who falls out of love may try to drive you away. They can even fight dirty with low-blows, cheat on you, disrespect or abuse you in order to increase the divide between you.

Total freeze out

When our partner falls out of love, the mood goes cold in the relationship.This is a feeling, and spans across several behaviors that show a partnership in trouble. You may begin to feel you’re not really a part of their life anymore. Or, you might find that they don’t try to include you in anything important in their lives. There’s a total freeze out. Nothing is overly bad, but nothing is good either. Your relationship goes into winter mode and the passion begins to die away.

Lacking in formal plans

Part of being a committed couple requires making plans for the future. Relationships work when partners and spouses come together with the aim of working toward similar goals. Have you and your partner stopped making these plans? Do you still talk about retiring together? The trips you’ll take? The family you’ll have? If they’ve stopped making plans with you for the future — it’s a red flag. They may also refuse to make any serious investments together as a couple, and won’t show any enthusiasm for their relationship with you.

Shifting toward conflict

Has your relationship become a turbulent wasteland of conflict and aggravation? You might find that you and your partner are fighting more than ever. You may even fight over the smallest issues or irritations. Does your partner go out of their way to pick fights? Do petty annoyances turn into major hurts and screaming matches? In an effort to push us away, the partner who is falling out of love may choose conflict as the wall to build around themselves.

Putting it all together…

Falling out of love is a hard thing to accept, but it’s a reality of modern romantic life. The things our partners need and want change. Likewise, we change too. Sometimes, our relationships don’t pan out. Our partners discover different facets of themselves and realize that we don’t hold a fascination for them like we used to. Has your partner fallen out of love with you? It’s time to admit the truth so you can take action and move forward.

Admit the truth to yourself before you do anything else. Look at their behavior and look at how it’s affecting you. Don’t look away. There’s no changing when our partner falls out of love. All we can do is brace ourselves and prepare to process. Surround yourself with loved ones and use this to reaffirm your confidence. Shift your perspective and see what’s happening as a change, rather than an ending. When you’re ready, sit your partner down and have the hard conversation you’ve been dreading. Make some plans and approach one another with honesty. Then, give yourselves some distractions as you move on toward the next horizon. Be compassionate with yourself and give yourself time to grieve. The ending of a relationship is never easy, but it can often bring about more beautiful futures than we could ever have imagined.

Sailor, J. (2015). A Phenomenological Study of Falling Out of Romantic Love. The Qualitative Report, 18, Article 37, 1–22. doi: 10.46743/2160–3715/2013.1521

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Writer. Host. Certified coach. Host of the Practical Growth Pod. Master Practitioner NLP. Get all my books and resources at the link below.

Pelham, AL

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