What Kind of Questions Do You Ask Yourself?

Domagoj Vidovic


“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”―Voltaire

You are a being of knowledge. A certain knowledge helps you, the other one breaks you down. You also have beliefs, with positive or negative impacts on your life.

Life put many challenges in front of you so far, and you needed answers to solve them. The answers came out of your beliefs and knowledge.

And what comes before an answer? A question. By asking the wrong ones, you can’t get the right answers.

Questions choose our path

You’ve met a successful person somewhere. He’s in the early 30s, runs a successful company, he’s good looking, and it looks like life’s going very well for him in general.

If you ask yourself questions like “Why life isn’t so good for me too?” or “Why cannot I be like him?”, your brain will try to get the answers. A brain is a tool, doing the tasks you put in front of it.

But hey, the questions you asked really aren’t the good ones, so will be the answers. Ask something meaningless, and you’ll get the same answer.

Still, the brain doesn’t want to give up. It tries hard to get the answers. By asking yourself a lot of unuseful questions every day, you create thought loops. Your mind is racing, and everything inside of it is making you anxious. That’s exactly where bad questions lead — to anxiety, depression, and other mental disorders. Because your brain just can’t find an answer out of which you’ll benefit.

On the other hand, if you ask yourself questions like “What can I learn from that guy?” or “How can I apply that knowledge to my life, and improve it?”, then you’re asking your brain the right questions. It will seek the right answers. Eventually, it will end up finding something meaningful.

Self-awareness needs a boost

Life is a collection of subsequent events. They are here to teach you something.

Observe those events properly, and get the most of them by asking the right questions. It takes some time to become a master at asking. Be patient.

Observe your thoughts when approaching different situations, and decide whether they’re correct or not. Be conscious of them.

If the question leads to nowhere, rephrase it. Instead of “Can I solve this?”, ask “How can I solve this?”. “Can” makes a lot of space for procrastination and giving up.

“How” wakens up the creativity, and leads to desired results. Remember:

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask yourself.

Bad questions often arise because of the lack of knowledge; a close-minded perspective. Because of ignorance.

It’s easier to be jealous and angry when you don’t understand someone’s success than to inspect the situation and learn from it. It’s the default mode for most people.

Break the default. Get out of your comfort zone. Read, journal, travel, exercise. Do many other things you’ve never tried.

Broaden your perspective. That will raise so many new questions.

Take the responsibility

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” — Epictetus

Make an effort to understand things. The guy from the beginning is not successful because he’s just a lucky guy. In the end, luck is just a meeting of preparation and opportunity.

The guy is successful because he’s doing the correct actions to get him there. And he knows that he has power over his actions.

He knows success is a choice.

There are always some principles behind every success story. The right actions were taken to produce positive results. They didn’t come out of anywhere.

Don’t think somebody is successful because of mere luck. That attitude will trigger bad questions. Instead of positiveness, misery and anxiety will raise.

Life failure is also a choice, but mostly an unconscious one. It happens because you don’t put the effort into trying to understand how life works.

It happens because of ignorance. Because of accepting other people’s opinions, without even questioning them. Accepting their opinions, instead of creating your own.

Remember, any problem you think you have in your life right now, you made it by yourself. You’re the master of your life, and you took those actions to get you where you are.

You can blame other people, coworkers, teachers, government. But those are just excuses; unexplored beliefs, only making things worse. You have the power of yourself and nobody else; accept that fact as well as every situation life makes for you, and do the right thing.

You took bad actions mostly because they were subconsciously adopted from society. Question your past actions, to improve the ones in the future.

Just because most people believe in something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Create your own system of beliefs.

Look at life as an experience, a collection of situations. Don’t feel bad about them, learn from them. The situation has already happened, and you cannot do anything to change the past. But you can do something to broaden your perspective, change your view, and gain something from it.

Be curious. Ask the right questions, get the right answers. Build your life the way you want, and contribute the society as much as you can. Use up your potential.

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