Forgive Yourself

Domagoj Vidovic

You started as a newborn, innocent being on this planet. Completely unaware, your first years of life were guided by the environment. Combinations of genes and stars gave many qualities to the character, but you didn’t have control over them.

Loving you unconditionally, parents wanted to do the best. They put all their effort into your wellbeing. Their nurturing wasn’t perfect, not because of evilness — but because of ignorance. Actions made out of love left negative consequences on your subconscious mind, and nobody didn’t know anything about it.

Rather than family, other people from the environment didn’t care about you so much, if anything at all. The only similarity was — nobody knew what they were doing.

Lack of awareness and critical thinking left you acting like on autopilot. You had a bit of control, but most of your actions were determined as a result of the outer world.

You behaved incorrectly many times, had numerous false beliefs; leading to dissatisfaction with the current state of life.

Full of guilt, you don’t even think about forgetting yourself, continuing the self-destructive behavior.

Nobody Knew Anything

Born with far-from-perfect characteristics, surrounded by a much-further-from-perfect environment, your subconscious mind adopted negative thought patterns, leading you to do harm to yourself and others.

Perfection doesn’t exist. It’s just a model; an entity needed for better interpretation. If nothing can be perfect, how can you judge yourself for not being so?

You didn’t always treat your friends well. Sometimes you hurt your better half or said rude things to your parents. Probably, you also did something much worse than that.

The root of those actions was a consequence of living an imperfect life, surrounded by an environment in which most people don’t really know what they’re doing.

By the time I was a kid, I thought the adults knew what they are doing; that the ability to live properly comes with the age. Now, I know that almost nobody knows the true art of living. The people’s sabotage never ends; it just grows bigger.

Lack of critical thinking and self-awareness is a characteristic of most of them. The environment bumps them around, their control is almost as small as when they were kids.

Your power lies in accepting your negative thought patterns and habits. They’re an absolute necessity for living a fulfilled life; the biggest lessons can be found in them.

You’re not a evil person. You can’t do everything perfectly. Forgive yourself, accept your being. Love it the way it is, and accept the challenges of working on it.

Life is an experience, so thereby, you can’t determine if any situation or act is negative or positive. Your reaction determines it.

Even though it may look like negativity, ask yourself about the lessons you can adopt from it. In that way, you’ll make everything a success.

Accept, Forgive, and Then React

Accepting is the first step to a fulfilled life. Otherwise, you’re resisting the only thing that actually exists — the present moment. That way, negative consequences will certainly appear. Erich Neumann, Carl Jung’s student said:

“The psychological analysis of any normal development will make it clear that, if he is to grow up, it is not merely unavoidable but actually essential that the individual should do and assimilate a certain amount of evil, and that he should be able to overcome the conflicts involved in this process. The achievement of independence involves the capacity of the ego not only to adopt the values of the collective but also to secure the fulfillment of those needs of the individual which run counter to collective values — and this entails doing evil.”

Thereby, forgiveness is a necessity.

Observe your “negative” patterns. They are part of you, you’re not whole without them. Infinite wisdom is written there, and for the fulfillment, you must overcome them.

There’s nothing you can do to change the past. However, you can change your perception of it. Trauma can be converted into a period of hard studying, after which you grew and changed a lot — something necessary for your life.

Your bad actions can be observed as lessons. Forgive yourself for doing them, and decide to not repeat them.

Learn from the experience of life. Your wonderful being has those capabilities; use them. As Albert Einstein said:

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”

You couldn’t do anything while you were unaware. Don’t judge yourself for it. Take the right actions now. Invest in self-awareness, invest in your growth.

By not accepting the inner shadows, they will just grow bigger. In the end, you’ll end up doing more harm to everyone, including yourself. Facing them is a crucial part of being a satisfied person.

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