Why Emotional Maturity Is Critical For Relationships


A balanced quality and quantity of our emotions determine the success of our relationships. Relationships revolve around emotions. Positive, uplifting, and supportive emotions feed our relationships. Negative, destructive, diminishing emotions sabotage them. Emotional maturity can rescue risky relationships. Let me explain.


Photo by Jana Sabeth on Unsplash

Studies show that emotionally intelligent people have better relationships with partners, kids, parents, other family members, colleagues, community members, and even strangers.

Emotional intelligence creates the foundation but is not enough to build sustainable relationships.

Emotional experience, skills, and capacity allow the relationships to flourish.

To convey my message, I use the term emotional maturity covering emotional intelligence, emotion handling skills, tolerance to intensity of emotions, and reasoning.

Emotional maturity requires both emotional intelligence and reasoning.

Integrating emotions with logic might create the best outcome for relationship building and maintenance.

Emotions and logic play critical roles in decision making. The quality of our decisions is determined by our emotional maturity, coupled with reasoning.

Maturity happens after considerable time and effort. Hence it refers to experience.

The common perception equates experience with age. However, young people can also possess emotional maturity.

Emotions make us human and play the most critical role in our relationships. Therefore, emotional maturity is an inevitable requirement for sustainable relations.

Some relations start with attraction, infatuation, and even authentic love. However, a lack of emotional maturity can destroy these wonderful feelings very quickly.

Emotionally mature people have strong hands-on emotion handling skills, emotional hygiene, and reasoning skills. Emotional hygiene is essential because our conflicting emotions may create a lot of residues.

Emotionally mature people can deal with their own emotions and also understand the emotions and feelings of others. They practice diligent emotional hygiene at home, in communities, and in workplaces.

People have all sorts of relationships. They are not between partners and lovers. We have an association with our kids, parents, family members, colleagues, and other people. Even simple transactions like shopping, commuting and dealing with tradespeople require relationships building.

Emotions, behaviour, and interpersonal skills are tightly related.

Emotions are reflected in our behaviour. Behaviour is the determining factor for the success of relationships. Our behaviour affects our interpersonal skills.

Emotionally mature people can handle interpersonal relationships more effectively.

Well-known traits of emotionally mature people are demonstrating empathy, kindness, compassion, and reciprocity.

Dealing with people using these may have a magical impact on our relationships. People with empathy, kindness, compassion, and reciprocity can build and nurture relationships more effectively. Empaths are typical examples of having these traits.

Empathy and compassion are genuine human needs in all social settings. No one enjoys being told off or kicked out of places.

Whether we relate with our partners, peers, superiors, or subordinates, we can always communicate better by using empathy, kindness, compassion, and reciprocity.

This point brings us to the significance of effective communication.

Effective communication requires emotional maturity. Emotionally mature people can communicate better; thus, they can build better relationships. In communications, empathy is the golden rule. Putting ourselves in others' shoes always opens the communication channels.

Mindful consideration of other's unique circumstances with kindness, empathy, and compassion can be a foundational relationship building skill.

Self-awareness and self-regulation establish necessary ingredients in relationships. Without knowing and understanding our own conditions, we cannot relate to others. Without regulating our urges, we cannot build successful relationships. No one likes needy and grumpy people.

Emotionally mature people depict strong self-awareness and self-regulation. They become self-aware with their fluctuating moods, changing feelings, mental drives, and overall urges.

Self-awareness also helps with self-regulation. Self-regulation is essential for sustainable relationships.

Mentioning urges related to self-regulation, delaying gratification also helps to build better relationships.

Emotionally mature people can make better decisions by delaying their self-gratifying urges for immediate reactions, which may not necessarily serve their best interests when experiencing low moods and debilitating negative emotions.

We all have urges. They never stop. But by improving our emotional maturity, we can manage these urges better. By practising self-awareness and regulation, we can increase our muscles of self-discipline. We respond rather than react.

Our self-discipline can transform into authentic behaviour. Emotionally mature people behave genuinely and authentically. Their behaviour and attitudes reflect their authentic self in their communications and interactions with others. They align with their principles based on authenticity. Genuine behaviour and attitudes are noticeable by partners.

As human beings, we are vulnerable creatures, both emotionally and physically. Every human has a flaw. Therefore, emotional maturity requires demonstrating vulnerability without fear from partners and other relations. Authentic people do not fear to show their vulnerabilities and even failures.

Emotionally mature people are not afraid of criticism. They see criticism as useful and essential feedback for improvement. Relationships cannot survive without feedback.

By showing our vulnerability, we also offer our imperfections. None of us is perfect. Emotionally mature people do not strive for perfection. They focus energy on becoming a better version by refraining from being and showing themselves perfect.

When we find our better versions gradually, and when our partners do the same, there may be a big possibility to find more commonalities as human virtues are universal.

Paradoxically, people showing vulnerabilities not only empower themselves, but they also relate with other people better. Ironically, authentic people not disguising their vulnerabilities are perceived and even accepted as more robust and resilient by others.

By improving our emotional maturity, we can transform our lives and the lives of beloved ones. The more mature we get emotionally, the better relationships we can build.

Emotional maturity is about knowing and managing one's own emotions and understanding and managing other people's emotions simultaneously.

Emotional maturity can also contribute to our mental health. Healthier minds can build more sustainable relationships because they are emotionally and mentally balanced.

We can develop our emotional maturity by being authentic, approaching people with empathy and compassion, accepting our imperfections, and depicting vulnerability. The best hygiene for emotional maturity is a mindful life, being aware of every moment, and seeing things as they are without judging them as good or bad.

Thank you for reading my perspectives.

Comments / 0

Published by

I write about important and valuable life lessons. My ultimate goal is to delight my readers. My content aims to inform and engage my readers. Truth, diversity, collaboration, and inclusiveness are my core values. I am a pragmatic technologist, scientist, postdoctoral academic and industry researcher focusing on practical and important life matters for the last four decades.


More from DigitalIntelligence

Comments / 0