5 Toxic Relationship Behaviors Learned from Romantic Movies



Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash

Romantic movies — the movies that show us since we are kids that life is like a fairytale, everything will always be good and filled with romance.

When is the last time you had a man singing or holding a sign under your window, asking you to go out with him? Did you meet your partner while walking down the street after suddenly you fell, he caught you and it was love at first sight? Did you have the most romantic kiss in the rain?

If you had one of these happened to you, what can I say, you are a lucky person and I’m happy for you. If you didn’t have such an experience, don’t be sad, you will probably never have one because this is reality.

Even if the reality is not live in the movies, and your love life is far from the romantic movies you watched, it doesn’t mean your love life it’s not beautiful or perfect.

“Some love stories aren’t epic novels. Some are short stories, but that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.” — Sex and the City

Movies make us think that the world is in a certain way and we grow up and have unrealistic expectations, and that’s how the sadness comes and the waiting for a prince and not for real men.

Movies also teach us some toxic behaviors that people in love should have. We replicate and accept these behaviors, believing this is normal and that’s how people who are in love and are honest and must behave.

That’s not true. A lot of toxic behaviors are learned from romantic movies. These are 3 of them:

1. Cheating it’s ok when you found a better more beautiful girlfriend

A lot of romantic movies have this scenario: a man has a girlfriend that’s a little bossy or jealous. He finds accidentally on the street a woman after she drops her books and it’s love at first sight. They start seeing each other at different events and organize an autumn festival together.

At this moment for both of them is clear that there is something between them. They kiss and the girlfriend sees it all. The girlfriend breaks up with the man and the man starts being together and leaves happily ever after with the new girlfriend. The roles are often switched and the woman is the one cheating, depending on the movie.

Do you think this scenario is fair? I don’t think you do. Cheating is not the answer, and you know it. The man could have broken up with his girlfriend when he started having feelings for the other woman.

We grow up believing this is normal and accepted behavior. But it is not. I am sure you would not want to be in the girlfriend’s place or even the woman’s too, because if he cheated to get with you how can you be sure he will not do it again? Who knows how another girl stumbles and falls into his arms. Love, at first sight again, and the story repeats itself.

2. If you like someone, pretend you hate and dislike them

Every time in the romantic movies the ones that like each other pretend they don’t. They hate each other and are so upset when they have to spend or do something together. In the end, they start having feelings and become the perfect couple.

It's kind of obvious for us, viewers of the movie, that there is no hate between them, and they just pretend to dislike each other to not make it obvious that they are totally in love.

I’ve done it before because I thought it’s normal and that’s how I was supposed to behave. I was wrong.

Have you done it?

I think you agree that more movies should show that’s normal when you like someone to tell them and flirt with them. What happens if you pretend so much that you hate the loved person that he starts dating and marrying another girl? Just tell him your feelings don’t be ashamed of them.

You don't have to pretend you don't like a person because you don't want them to find out. Be brave and tell him your feelings.


Photo by Ryan Jacobson on Unsplash

3. You will know he/she is the one from the first moment you make eye contact

The only thing you will know is that you find them attractive. That’s all. Unless you are a witch or something like that and when you look into his eyes you see your future with him.

If you are not a person gifted with this talent, then you won’t know if he’s the one. Don’t aspect when you like someone for them to be your soulmate. The chances are very low.

How many people do you make eye contact with while walking down the street and you think they are cute? A lot. They can’t be all our soulmates. I used to believe this is how I’m going to find a boyfriend. It wasn’t like that at all.

Don’t aspect to find your loved one this way. This happens 99,99% just in movies. In reality, the chances are higher to find a boyfriend/ girlfriend in the club or at work.


In the end, because romantic movies are so close to reality, they make us believe that some toxic behaviors and scenarios are normal for us to accept and replicate. You are looking for a man or woman based on the wrong principles seen in the movies.

You should not use romantic movies as a guide in your love life. Some movies are good, have good messages, and you can learn a lot from them. But most of them are presenting something that has almost zero chances to be happening in your life. You will not meet your prince by bumping into him under the mistletoe in a small village o Christmas day.

The reality is unless it says “based on true events” a romantic movie will remain fiction, no matter how close to reality it may look to be.

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