Improving Emotional Intimacy Strengthens Couple Relationship

Dharan.M

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Emotional intimacy is needed to make relationships strong and healthy. Emotional intimacy helps couples to build trustful and long-lasting relationships. Emotional intimacy deepens love bonds, comfort, security and mutual support.

If a relationship lacks emotional intimacy, it will lead to distrust, dysfunctional communication patterns and separations.

I shall share six great ways that work on improving emotional intimacy.

Create a Safe Space

Emotional intimacy is about creating a safe space for your partner, to share their thoughts and feelings openly and genuinely. A safe space is where they aren’t judged, their vulnerability is respected and appreciated. In this safe space, communications are kept confidential.

It is best to eschew negative remarks, touches of sarcasm or criticisms when a partner shares their thoughts and feelings. Remain non-judgmental, empathize and embrace the moment of sharing with unconditional love and positive regards.

Never rat or disclose your partner’s deepest darkest secrets to others. I have come across couples who release their partner’s sensitive matters to others, out of passive aggression. Regardless of the type of relationship or values one holds, it is always important to be mindful when guarding an intimate partner’s secrets and vulnerable moments. ‘Spilling secrets’ due to emotional conflicts leads to bitter relationships. If you are unhappy, speak calmly, politely and directly to your partner to work out a good solution.

Listen and Respect Your Partner’s Needs and Opinions

You may not be able to fulfill all of your partner’s expectations. But you can always practice listening attentively to their needs and opinions. Never take any action that poses risks to a partner’s social and emotional well-being. Be cautious of actions that may lead to mental and emotional breakdowns in relationships.

The golden rule of respect here is, if you aren’t sure, always ask and discuss with your partner first before taking any actions that impact you and your partner.

Discard Power and Control Behaviors

If you are exercising power and control over your partner, you need to let go of this behavior immediately. Power and control behavior transforms you into an abusive person. These behaviors slay emotional intimacy. Forcing values and actions, threatening, externalizing blames and hindering a partner’s freedom to take decisions are some examples of power and control behaviors.

Never indulge in any behaviors that threaten the mental, emotional and physical safety of your partner.

Stop Comparing

Your partner is a masterpiece and so are you. None of us are comparable, everyone is unique in their own way, and nature has created a sense of equality in all of us. It takes wisdom to understand this.

Instead of comparing, work together with your partner in becoming a better person and supportive partner each day. Comparison chews away confidence, self-esteem and happiness in your partner. Comparision is a negative attribute.

Replace Complaints with Compliments

Constant flaw-finding habits are ‘relationship killers.’ Therefore, limit the number of complaints and replace them with compliments. You may write love notes to your partner and give affirmations about their skills, talents, capabilities and all positive qualities.

We have to keep in mind that love is ever relating, and ever-flowing like a river. Love is also about genuine appreciation and gratitude towards each other.

Do Activities That Create A Sense Of Meaning

Engage in meaningful activities. It can be exercising, eating, reading, writing or meditating together. Some couples might spend their time gossiping about others. Gossiping is a ‘joyful verbal activity’ that gives temporary relief and pleasure, but it would gradually erode romantic ambiance.

Do not talk negatively about yourself, your partner, your relationship or others when spending time together. Instead of negative self-talk or talking negatively about others, indulge in positive and constructive activities.

Raise the positive frequencies and vibes in your relationship, through activities that nurture romantic and sanguine moments. Work on always encouraging your partner and be their peace.

You can start practicing these, to develop deep emotional intimacy and build a happy and harmonious relationship.

Thank you for reading my insights.

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A Couples & Family Therapist, Writer, Author, & Spiritual Yogi. I’m the author of the empowering personal spiritual guide book: The Cosmic Romance with Existence & The Golden Halo, a free substack newsletter that delivers enlightening stories and poems to your inbox.

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