Self-Forgiveness Is A Crucial Phase Of Self-Healing

Dharan.M

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woman praying while leaning against the brick wall.Ben White.

Today I am going to talk about a beautiful word, it is self-forgiveness. It is believed that the root word of forgiving comes from the Latin word, “perdonare,” which means to give entirely without hesitation.

I would describe self-forgiveness as the process of letting go of the non-essentials, that don’t benefit our overall health and wellness. I find that self-forgiveness is both nutrition and medication for the soul. Right now while writing the word self-forgiveness, I feel calm and relaxed.

In this story, I love to share my positive experiences from practicing self-forgiveness, and how we can apply self-forgiveness as part of daily rejuvenation.

Self-forgiveness Helps To Grow Responsibility, Awareness and Wisdom

Doing deep self-reflection is one great way to understand ourselves. As we reflect to raise our self-awareness, we come across our strengths and pains. Healing our pains and growing our strengths connect us to our high selves. The higher self is our calm, courageous and superconscious state of balance. However, identifying the root source of our pain isn’t easy if parts of our minds are blocked by unhealthy egos.

The ego has healthy and unhealthy parts. One of the ways the ego grows is through life conditioning. Let me share how my life conditioning grew my ego and lead me to pain.

My parents constantly fear the opinions of others due to their conditioning and culture. When I grew up, I faced similar problems. I was constantly worried about what others would think of me. The fear of opinions of others was like a slow poison that ate my peace. Just like my parents, I presumed my whole reputation depended on the opinions of others.

To guard me against such problems, I had to work hard on justifying my mistakes. I had to rationalize my actions to feed my ego-driven thoughts to avoid the consequences of guilt and shame. I formed narratives that fit my ego and I wasn’t in touch with my innermost supreme truth.

My life started becoming better after I practiced self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness allowed me to accept my mistakes honestly. I learned that I don’t have to go around confessing my mistakes to others, but I have to be brutally honest to myself if I want to raise my consciousness.

To raise my consciousness, I need to know every corner of myself without any hindrance from my ego. My profound self-reflections unraveled the connections between my thoughts, actions and ego.

Though it is always good to be reasonable to oneself, it is important to be aware of not coming up with many rationalizations that pacify one’s ego. It took me some wisdom to understand this truth. This wisdom is the outcome of my deep self-reflections and constant practice of self-forgiveness.

The mind that generates negative thoughts and emotions also comes up with ready-made answers that are supportive of the ego. This is a temporary form of unconscious coping method that helps a person to escape pain and reality. If pain isn’t dealt with consciously, it will return in a different direction to cause life challenges.

The universe sends us pain to teach us lessons. Lessons get repeated if we never learn from the pain. I learned that pain leaves once lessons are applied to rebuild ourselves. Self-forgiveness helps in this rebuilding process. Self-forgiveness effectively deals with pain.

Self-forgiveness plays a vital role in transforming negative thoughts and emotions that cause pain. Through self-forgiveness, I was able to transform negativity. I transformed negativity that came to harm my peace into a shield that healed and protected me.

Practicing self-forgiveness helps me to see my own reality as it is. I admit to myself my mistakes, forgive myself, learn and move to the next stage of growth. I no longer get myself trapped in the hands of guilt, shame or other forms of pain. As I enter the next stage of my life, I keep myself aware of repeating the same mistake again.

In a nutshell, self-forgiveness helps us to become honest and responsible. Self-forgiveness develops our wisdom to merge with our supreme truth. Self-forgiveness helps us to become more aware. As we self-forgive, we accept and learn from our mistakes which supports our personal and spiritual growth.

Do keep in mind that self-forgiveness is an intimate conversation with yourself and the universe. You don’t have to share with everyone about your mistakes. At the end of the day, we are responsible for our well-being.

The Best Person To Forgive You Is None Other Than Yourself

Healing is a daily action. We cannot wait for the flowers to fall from the tree to bless and heal us. We need to take action here and now. We know ourselves better than anyone, and forgiving ourselves is one of the best things we can do for ourselves.

Self-forgiveness also grows our sense of self-compassion. We will be kind, loving and merciful to ourselves which improves our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

Self-forgiveness Helps In Dealing With Difficult People

If someone releases anger, speaks impolitely or acts unjustly to us, it reflects that the person is unhealed and lacks adequate self-knowledge about their intrapersonal battles. As we protect, defend and advocate for ourselves in such situations, we should also keep in mind that we are dealing with another unhealed soul of the universe. Knowing this truth relieves us from holding long-term grudges.

I forgave myself for the past ignorance that caused me to waste my time with people who tried to break my spirit. Those who actively go around breaking the spirits of others are usually unhappy with themselves. They remain dubious about what causes and maintains their unhappiness. Self-forgiveness woke me up and made me understand this.

As the light inside us brightens, the more we are able to inspire, energize and lift others up. Self-forgiveness brightens our inner light.

Self-forgiveness Improves Mental Clarity

Self-forgiveness releases redundant thoughts and emotions. When unwanted thoughts are cleared, our perception and thinking become clear. We will develop a strong ability to evaluate situations, intentions and work through challenges.

Here are four helpful ways to practice self-forgiveness:

Mentally Recite

Before going to bed or while doing your daily reflections, you can apologize to yourself for the mistakes you did for the day. You can do it daily whenever you have the time. It may not be easy to do this in the beginning but it gets easier with daily practice.

The Prayerful Moment

When you say a gratitude prayer, simultaneously add your forgiveness prayers. For example, “dear universe, I am sorry and I would like to say a big thank you….muackzz!” You can give a kiss to the universe. The universe will kiss you back by relieving your pain and multiplying the positivity in your life. Trust your efforts and invite more cosmic love and responses from the universe.

Do Forgiveness Meditation

Close your eyes, place your hand or attention on your heart center and visualize or say the words, “dear universe, forgive me.” You may feel from your heart the cosmic energy waves of the universe granting you forgiveness and peace.

Write a Forgiveness Journal

In your journal, write about the parts in you that you like to forgive. Write daily and you can also name this journal, ‘my forgiveness letters to the universe.’ Do keep your journal safely as you don’t want to lose your deep dark secrets, and end up forgiving yourself for losing them.

Final Words

We are the master of our destiny and we are responsible for our life. Let’s illuminate our lives by practicing self-forgiveness and connecting with eternal bliss.

Thank you for reading my insights.

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A Therapist, Social Worker, Writer, Author, and Spiritual Mentor. I’m the author of the empowering personal spiritual guide book: The Cosmic Romance with Existence & The Golden Halo, a free substack newsletter that delivers enlightening stories and poems to your inbox.

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