Photo by Blake Weyland on Unsplash
That means 85 out of every 100 people is or has been unsure of themselves or their abilities.
Which means...I’m not the only one. Self-confidence is something I too find myself struggling with.
That said, just because I struggle with self-confidence doesn’t mean I can’t be self-confident.
It’s absolutely attainable, it just takes a bit of work.
In recent years, I’ve noticed a trend — on days that I do something difficult, something that challenges me, I’m more sure of myself and my abilities. I’m happier, feel more fulfilled, and have an all-around better day.
The Daily Habit
Every day, whether I like it or not, I do something ‘hard’. Something that I know is going to be difficult. Something that takes a little mental fortitude to start and finish. In taking on this challenge, I’m able to build my self-confidence for the day.
What are ‘hard’ things you ask?
‘Hard’ things are the things that challenge me. The things that scare me a little bit. The things I’m not sure I’m able to do.
Doing ‘hard’ things can take many forms:
- Running 10+ miles.
- Taking the lead on a project at work.
- Not snoozing my alarm in the morning.
- Or even picking the salad instead of the pizza.
While it’s different for everyone, I’ve there’s one main commonality — it’s difficult specifically for me.
Meaning, that something that’s ‘hard’ for me is completely different than something that’s ‘hard’ for someone else.
It’s 100% personal and unique to me. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. As long as it’s something that challenges me. Something I know is going to be difficult. It could be as simple as waking up early (before the sunrise) or as big as running a marathon.Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Exercise is my go-to. I love to push the limits of what my body and mind say I’m able to do. So, every day, whether I want to or not, I do just that. I go out and do something that challenges me.
55-mile bike rides. 10-mile trail runs. Solo open water swims. Even a marathon.
Every day, I make sure I do something that’s difficult and challenges what I think I can do. Something that scares me a little bit. Something that takes a little bit of mental fortitude to get started.
Whatever it is, in doing something difficult, I’m able to gain a mental edge over my struggle with self-confidence. And furthermore, I’m able to convince myself I’m someone I didn’t think I was. Someone that’s disciplined. Someone that’s confident. Someone that gets the job done no matter what the circumstances.
And that’s the key. Because self-confidence is literally confidence in knowing who I am. My identity.
So, in doing something that’s difficult every day, I’m slowly building my identity as someone who doesn’t back down from a challenge. Someone that isn’t afraid to do something they haven’t done before. Someone who is confident.
That’s the power of doing difficult, challenging, or scary things. They force me to grow. To change. To adapt.
And when I do inevitably come out the other end of that scary thing, I find solace in knowing that I at least had the confidence to try.
It’s really not complicated.
Do something difficult every day.
But, what the advice lacks in complexity, it more than makes up for it ineffectiveness.
Through this daily habit, I’ve built enough self-confidence to move across the country alone, run a couple of marathons, and even tell my girlfriend I love her.
This simple yet effective daily habit has really changed my life. While not always been easy, it’s comforting to know that there is a way to find more self-confidence.
Seek out challenges. Do things that are difficult. Find stuff that scares me.
And then just keep doing it. Everyday.