To live a happier life, you need to let go of unnecessary things.
This year I decided to make a big change in my life: Let go of everything that did not contribute to my growth or happiness.
This happened as a result of seeing how everything can change from one moment to another. I had many plans for 2020, and I never imagined that it would end up being a completely different person.
For this reason, I consider that I should not continue doing things that I don’t like or are not good for me, especially if they are habits that are not worth it in any way.
These are the 20 habits I know are not good for me about life, and I’m working to delete them now, so I can live a happier life before I turn 30.
1. Take responsibility for other’s actions.
I used to take care of other’s mistakes and ended up more involved than the person who commits the issue. You are responsible for your own actions, no more than that.
In the end, they always found a way to get away, while I started to have people against me for getting into what didn’t matter to me.
Being responsible for other's mistakes makes us the owner of them, so it is not worth taking care of what we cannot bear.
“I am responsible for my thinking, feeling and acting, whether I like it or not, the culprits don’t exist.” — Elle Ferreira
Where we can act is where we must use our energies. It’s useless to lament or blame others for your own mistakes.
2. Always need people around you.
I used to think that to be happy; I need to find my better half.
When I was with someone, I made them responsible for my moods, and they always ended up disappointing me.
But the only person who is never going to leave me is myself, no matter what happens. So I started to take care of my own happiness.
When you learn to enjoy your loneliness, no one will be capable to damage your peace.
The only person you need is yourself. When you love yourself enough, you don’t want anyone to be a part of your life, only those who are really worth it.
3. Believe that you deserve everything.
I used to think that everything that happened to me, bad or good, was because I deserved it. However, what happens to us in life is the result of different actions, not just what we do.
Life is not about doing a lot of good things to receive an award. Many people believe that because they “are trying hard at something,” they should receive much more than the job actually costs.
For example, we don’t deserve a car just because we’re getting good grades in school; we only deserve a good grade and knowledge. Likewise, we do not deserve a salary increase for doing our work. The salary we receive is our payment for that work.
People don’t always get what they deserve in this world. ― Lemony Snicket
If many people do not get what they deserve, even working hard. So you should not receive more than your share just because you are making an effort.
Life is not about whether or not we receive something for our actions. It’s about doing what we are passionate about and being able to accomplish something about it.
4. Have a sedentary life.
The first months of quarantine, I spent it with pains throughout my body because I was always on my bed or on the sofa. Even my anxiety increased thanks to my sedentary lifestyle.
As the days passed, I began to realize the importance of staying in shape, not only to have a good body but also to have mental health.
When I started exercising at home, I started to notice a change in myself. And I realized that the more active our days are, the better we will feel about our body.
Here are the top reasons why you should exercise:
- Your body will feel younger and good, even as the years go by.
- Reduce anxiety and depression.
- It helps you live a healthier and longer life.
- It will help you have more consistency and self-control in everything.
These days I feel much more productive even after exercising, and I don’t feel tired all the time anymore. Living a sedentary life is one of the things you would never want to experience again.
5. The junk food.
Surely you have heard this expression many times: “We are what we eat.” And although it means that if we eat healthily, we will have a healthy body and vice versa, I feel that it has a much bigger phrase.
What we eat is integral health; health in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual dimension.
In addition to preventing diseases such as cardiovascular, degenerative, joint, or depression, a good diet will help us keep our body young, healthy, and strong.
I feel like eating fast food is choosing the easy way. It is not having control over our own body, and that we do not have the ability to even do basic things to have a better life.
I love fast food. I have one day dedicated to eating hamburgers or pizza. But I don’t let those kinds of foods control my life.
6. Leave an addiction you have.
I’m addicted to my phone. I am aware of it, and I want to change. I feel like the more time I spend checking social media, the more time I lose enjoying things that are really worth it.
An addiction cannot be stopped overnight; everything is a process. But I think the first thing we should be aware of is the damage they do to us and have a willingness to change.
Your addiction is not the result of your failure but of your fear of succeeding in life. The good thing is that it is never too late to change, and a good way to start is by wanting to quit before reaching a certain age.
7. Leave things for later.
Something that 2020 taught me is that there is no after. Life can change us completely overnight, and there is no turning back. There are many things I should have done before the pandemic, and that’s why I don’t want to keep leaving things.
Sometimes we stop so long to contemplate a door that’s closing, that by the time we see another one opening, it’s too late. — Exploring your mind
Sometimes we feel like we have all the time in the world to do what we want later. The reality is that we have to think backward; we hardly have time.
Sometimes you want to save something for later, and then you find out that it’s been weeks or even months since you said it. You are so focused on other things that we put what really matters aside.
Leaving everything for later is too late. I have decided that I do not want to leave things for later. Life can change us overnight, and I don’t want to regret not having done things when I no longer can’t.
8. Being in a job you don’t like.
When I was 19, I was in a job that many would dream of being on an important bank as a Software programmer. Everyone told me that I had a lifetime opportunity and that I would be a recognized manager one day.
However, I was not happy.
It was not a healthy work environment, and they didn’t even let me study. My dream was to be able to graduate from college, and I realized that it wasn’t worth sacrificing to be someone I had never wanted to be.
Although many people told me I was crazy to quit such an important job, it was the best decision of my life. Currently, I get paid to do what I love, I have met wonderful people, and I have the opportunity to start my own business.
We spend 30% of our day in a job. Being in one that you don’t like is wasting your life. So it is not worth sacrificing your days for having a salary. Your well-being is more important.
If you think about it, there is no benefit from complaints. The only thing that complaining has helped me is to make excuses and not do what I should do.
When we complain, we focus all our energies on the fact rather than what we can do to improve. Instead of trying to see what we can change, we see what is already done.
Complaining will not change the past, worrying will not change the future.
So if it is not worth wasting our time on that, because it won’t change anything, then it is better to do something else that benefits us.
10. Have many opinions.
I know many people who must give their opinion on all issues. Even if they don’t know about the topic, they have the need to talk about it like the world is waiting for them.
But I’m going to say something that maybe not everyone wants to hear; almost nobody cares what you think. What does matter is what you can do about it.
If you are not willing to change something, your opinion is only criticism.
Criticism is useless if you can’t help someone to be better. For example, I don’t understand why you should tell someone that they are not good at dancing if you do not help them improve.
11. Speak without thinking.
The only times that I have regretted something have been the times that I have said something without thinking about the consequences.
Many times we want to give our opinion of something that is happening because we believe that what we are going to say is important. But without realizing it, we do the opposite of what we want to achieve.
Speaking without thinking is like shooting without aiming — Jenny Ligthart
I have found that every time I think about things before saying them, like advising someone or giving my opinion on a topic, 90% of the time, it was not necessary for me to speak.
12. See the negative side of all the things.
It is not about denying that there are obstacles, difficulties, disappointments, or adverse situations. They exist. It is more about what we can learn from this.
There are always two ways to interpret the same event, look from the side that will help you grow.
Every time I focus on the negative, I never find a solution to a problem, and life is too short to focus only on what we cannot change. For this reason, focusing on the negative has no benefit in the long run and only affects how we live a peaceful life.
13. Listen to comments from people who don’t like us.
I stopped reading and listening to comments and advice from people who don’t like me when I realized that they don’t want to see me succeed.
Negative comments come from people who don’t want us to be happy. So to listen to them is to give them the opportunity to destroy us.
Every time I read a comment from a person who doesn’t know me, I keep in mind they don’t know what is best for me and only speak based on their perspective.
If they are mediocre, they will advise you as if you were mediocre too.
The only comments that are really worth paying attention to and analyzing are those of those who want to see you happy.
14. Have toxic people in your life.
This year I had a goal to stop following all those people who did not bring anything positive to my life.
I realized that having those kinds of influences in my social networks were only taking me away from what I want to achieve.
When I wake up in the morning, I usually start checking all my notifications and social media. I realized that toxic people were affecting how my mood continued throughout the day.
When I stopped following them, I began to notice a change in my routines. Now I see Instagram as a way to de-stress and find personal development messages, instead of seeing gossip and negativity.
15. Holding a grudge and not forgiving.
In my 23 years of life, I have had many painful experiences with people close to me. They have betrayed me, criticized me, and hurt me.
Right now, probably they won’t remember the things that they did. So if I had not learned to forgive them, the only one who would have paid for his mistakes is me.
Forgiveness is not giving someone the ability to hurt you again. It is able to embrace peace, hope, gratitude, and happiness. It involves the decision to leave grudges and thoughts of revenge behind.
You may always remember the act that hurt or offended you, but forgiveness can lessen the power it has over you and help you free yourself from the control of the person who hurt you.
Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the person who hurt you.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, finding excuses for the harm done to you, or reconciling with the person who caused the harm. Forgiving gives a kind of peace that helps you get on with your life.
16. Accumulate unnecessary objects.
As I have grown, I have realized that I need fewer things in my life.
Having unnecessary objects in your room, living room, or workspace only distracts you from what really matters.
Also, I realized that the only thing really important in my life is my physical and mental health. Everything else I can get in the way.
The fewer things I need in my life, the more I start to enjoy the little free details that life gives me.
17. Being in a stressful environment out of conformity.
When I was a teenager, I had a group of friends who made fun of my personal tastes and wouldn’t let me be myself. Although we were the most coveted group in the school, I was not happy being a part of them.
Anyone wanted to belong to that group, and I felt that if I left them, I would not be able to have more friends.
One day I decided to stop talking to them and start hanging out with Jenuin people who did care about my happiness. I realized that the happiness and peace that being yourself give you is more worthwhile than being in a popular group.
Do not stay in a place that does not make you happy because you think you will not find anything better. There will always be something better.
18. Don’t have hobbies.
Hobbies allow you to abstract your thoughts from everyday concerns. They help you relax and find pleasure in activities unrelated to the most common sources of stress like work, school, or family. And they allow you to meet people.
It is recommended to have 3 hobbies in your life:
- One that makes me creative, in this way I can let out my routine and daily stress, and with it, I’m able to be inspired, which is play video games.
- One that keeps me in shape. With this one, I am healthy while doing something that I enjoy.
- One that makes me money. Because we all need to do something that we love and make money with it, which is write.
Having hobbies for me has been like giving a new purpose to my life. They help me enjoy the things that I am passionate about and give meaning to doing them.
19. Mistreat strangers.
My brother once gave me some advice for when I was on the street: always give people a bad look, and don’t give them a chance to get close to you.
At that time, it was dangerous for the girls to be alone outside. and it was a way to protect me from strangers.
However, I began to realize that not everyone is bad. And that there were people out there who will help me without anything in exchange.
I left my purse at work once, and I noticed when my friend dropped me off at the bus stop. When I was going to pay, I told the boy that I had no money and that I was going to walk, but my house was at least 5 miles from there.
The boy said that he would not let me go alone, and he let me pass without problems.
There are angels willing to help. You don’t need to mistreat people to protect yourself; you just have to be vigilant.
20. Judge others because they don’t think the same as you.
What I thought was bad as a teenager now seems normal to me. That someone thinks differently from me does not mean that one of us is wrong, only that we do not have the same vision of life.
I stopped judging others when I realized that I could not compare my situation with what others have experienced.
Everyone is on their own path, and it’s not your job to tell other people how to live.
I grew up in a home, I was never hungry and had the opportunity to study. Many other people have had to work to eat from an early age and don’t know what I do.
Making fun of those who did not have the same opportunities as me, just because they ignore things because they could not learn time, is unfair.
Instead, whenever I see someone doing something that I don’t think is right, I explain my perspective and try to help.
I have found that I am more useful when trying to improve than just criticize.
It doesn’t matter how old you are; it is never too late to stop doing the things that don’t make you happy. I believe that letting go of what does not do us good in our lives, no matter when it is, will always be worth it.