Imagine having the extraordinary ability to get anything you want in life ranging from desires, goals, objectives, and status. Visualizing successfully getting them and imagine all the emotions you would feel. Wouldn’t life be easier, enjoyable, and better?
Well, getting what you want in life is no rocket science and certainly not a work of magic. People tend to overthink and overcomplicate it, but getting what you want in life is easier than it seems.
My goal in this story isn’t just to guide you to get anything you desire in your life, but also to enable you to learn how to influence other’s thinkings and behaviors that will always work to your advantage.
I credit most of what I learned in this subject to Dale Carnegie’s teachings, which are being taught everywhere, from business schools, workshops and seminars, and even spiritual retreats.
For the record, Warren Buffet once said that his greatest investment in life was in fact purchasing Carnegie’s award-winning book and all-time bestseller,
“How To Win Friends and Influence People.”
The book teaches you everything about life, especially how to win people over, how to influence them, and how to achieve anything you want.
Here’s what I learned that will help you get anything you desire in life and in your career.
1. Show Interest To People
One of the first steps of getting what you want is to show absolute interest in the people you speak to. If you expect people to show interest in you, first you need to show interest to them.
Most times, people just speak about their interests without realizing that the other person isn’t interested in what they’re about to say, at all.
How can you expect other people to show interest in you if you first don’t show any interest to them? Exactly my point.
When you show interest in people, you appear genuine and authentic. As a result, they will look at you as someone they can trust.
How to show interest?
- Ask about their ambitions in life
- Ask about their family and where they grew up
- Talk about their interests, passions, and talents.
Does she watch The Office or Queen’s Gambit on Netflix? Then, speak about it. Remember, if you talk only about your interests, the other person most likely, won’t care.
Show interest in people before you show your interest.
2. Listen Intently
Your number one goal here is to listen intently to what they want and need. In the event that you figure out how to talk with people about what they need, and how can you satisfy them, you will have their complete approval and consideration.
A psychological trick that always works is nodding. It makes the other person feel validated about what they say. It gives them this feeling of certainty, security, and confidence. Just don’t do it too much, of course.
Listening is more important than speaking. Get into the habit of prioritizing listening over speaking. It’s a secret recipe to getting what you want from people and a brilliant way to read their intentions and desires.
3. Provide a piece of value
Individuals through the centuries have developed, endured, and evolved as animals by helping each other. People built up the impulse to abet one another so that we’d have some assistance when we required it. So, on the off chance that I help my closest companion out, he will feel constrained to restore that favor.
Before you get what you want, it’s best to provide something of value.
You can do this by:
- Telling your story, experiences, skills
- Showing your work portfolio
- Helping them solve a problem
The point here is to establish an image that you’re not just there because you need to get what you want, but also to create and build a relationship. Sometimes in life, to get what you want, you first have to give what they want.
Doing someone a favor creates a future obligation or urge to do a favor to you as well. So first, provide value to people.
4. Give Compliments
Ok, I’m pretty sure you have been given a compliment by someone before right? If not, hit me up and I will happily give compliments on your work.
Who doesn’t appreciate a compliment? The answer is nobody.
Even when the compliments aren’t genuine as they sound, it still affects you in a way. For example, by simply saying “I love your style” to the next person you encounter, you have already made their whole day.
A small act of kindness can make a big difference in a person’s life and mindset. This higher the chances of getting what you want by an order of magnitude because when you ask what you want, they are more obliged to give it because you made them feel better.
Make sure to not overdo it because it can end doing the contrary.
Human psychology is fascinating, right? So, give compliments.
5. Always Tell The Truth
“Truth giver”, the highest person in the room.
Someone who appears to be credible and so confiding.
Now, be that person. Everybody appreciates a person who says the truth.
Few people can give the truth, because it can provoke people, but the truth is what’s for the best. The truth liberates you from constraints around your neck and people as a byproduct will end up depending on you and trusting you more.
And one who always says the truth attracts genuine people. As a result, people are more likely to give in to you because they see you are real.
Don’t fear the truth, share it, and tell it.
6. Build A Rapport
Humans have a neuro-linguistic instinct called matching and mirroring, where we develop patterns in how we speak and hold ourselves based on our surroundings.
In fact, when you’re having a one-on-one conversation with someone, you unconsciously and naturally match their speech patterns and body language to some noticeable extent. What’s my point here?
Everyone naturally likes people who are similar to them.
When you discover a shared triangle of interest, background, or connection with someone, you start relating to them and start liking them a little more.
In fact, science has demonstrated that we all have a subconscious desire to bond and mirror those around us.
As a result, people are more likely to give what you want because they see a mirror of themselves in you. And for them, giving something to you is like giving something to them. So, work on that.
So, find and build a common rapport with the person.
7. Just Ask
Perhaps the most straightforward, frugal, and timeless principle of them all is just to simply ask. How can you get something you want if you don’t ask for it right?
The mistakes most people do is create an illusionary result of being rejected. Well, that’s not the case in reality. When people are being asked, there are actually higher chances of providing what you desire. If they can’t provide it to you, they will refer you to someone who can provide it. If they can’t help you, you will at least walk away with a piece of advice and wisdom.
Win-win right? Asking won’t hurt you, it will help you.
According to this Ted Talk given by Jennifer Cohen, a notable healthy lifestyle writer, entrepreneur, podcaster, and spokesperson, people don’t get what they want in life because:
- They don’t know what they want in life
- They don’t ask
Life isn’t playing tricks on you. If you want something, be bold and ask.
If there’s one principle or advice you take away from this story, it’s this one.
So, get into it. Don’t make it hard. Just do it.
How did I get here?
As a young teenager, I read a lot of psychology, self-development, and humanistic books, which include my all-time favorites,
“How to Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie and,
“Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.
These books practically changed me.
And if I hadn’t read these books when I was younger, I wouldn’t be exactly where I am today.
So, allow me to share what I learned and passed them on to you.
If you like the content of this story and have some questions, don’t be afraid to ask in the comments section below. I’ll be more than happy to help you.