My birthday is fast approaching. Tonight, as I wrote an article, my forever 20-year-old angel in heaven (my oldest son’s) image crossed my mind. At that moment, my heart ached for him and a few tears rolled down my cheeks.
I remembered my grief, how much I suffered and how I longed to hear his voice. It happens during every special occasion, regardless of how many years it’s been.
My birthday is April 13. My family usually gets together to celebrate each other’s birthday. That year, they planned a birthday dinner on Saturday, April 12. I was not up to it but accepted the dinner as long as they did not sing Happy Birthday. They respected my wishes and my sister offered her home for the gathering.
That night my husband worked the night shift, therefore, he would not attend the gathering. I drove my car alone since my cousins, nieces, and nephews had invited my children after the gathering. They, too, needed a distraction, so I was fine with their outing after dinner. It was a great gathering and I am very grateful to my siblings and mother for such a wonderful dinner. However, my sadness was just too much for me to hide.
I drove home at about 10:45 p.m. It took me about 45 minutes to get home. Tears continued to run down my cheeks and clouded my vision. Therefore, I had to use caution and drive slowly to get home safe. I arrived at about 11:30 p.m. Since I was alone in the house, I went to shower. It was close to midnight on April 12th. The flow of tears did not subside, so I went straight to bed. However, something amazing happened.
Once I laid my head on my pillow, I felt a soft kiss on my left temple and heard a low whisper in my ear that said, “Happy Birthday Mom.” I was alone in the house. I opened my eyes and looked at the time displayed on my nightstand clock. It was 12 midnight - April 13. I knew where the whisper and kiss came from. I knew it came from my angel in heaven. It made me feel so much better. I slept peacefully that night. He does not know it, but he gave me the best birthday gift ever that night. I am thankful to Infinite Spirit (God) for allowing my son to give me the gift of love.
To my son in heaven: I love you and miss you so much. Love Mom.
Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.