It is Time to Own Up to Our Own Mistakes

Debbie Centeno
Photo by Rodolpho Zanardo

I do not tolerate well people who push the blame on someone else, other than themselves, for things that go wrong in their life. I know a few people who act this way and realize their parents were not the best examples to follow. So why continue the same pattern? You are not obligated to do the same as your parents did. I believe we are responsible for the way our life turns out. Yes, we all have problems and not everyone had a perfect childhood. We all have encountered hard times and struggles. But we learned from those struggles - or some of us did. Most of us realize where the problem stems from and take action to avoid repeating the same situations. The issue lies when some people never attempt to correct it, even when they know that there is a problem and what the root of the problem is.

Of course, there are people that experienced traumatic events in their childhood and do not realize how they affected their lives. However, you do not hear them saying that they did not have a good example to follow. I believe once you recognize how unsettled was your upbringing, you can make a change.

For instance, let us use a random name like John. John claims he went through many struggles in his childhood which played a big part in who he is today. His dad abandoned the family when John was 6 years old, and his mom turned to alcohol. John was the oldest of three children. Therefore, he had to be the adult figure for his siblings when his mom passed out after her drinking bouts, which were often. Fast-forward to John’s adult life and he, too, is an alcoholic and a dad who has missed out on his own children’s upbringing.

John constantly blames his mother and father for the poor choices he has made. According to John, his parents were not present for him, so he did the best he could. Do you see what I mean? John does not think he is responsible for his actions and hides behind his upbringing. Though he recognizes not having the best examples to follow. My point is if John recognizes the mistakes his parents made in his childhood, his best course of action would be to not repeat them. Instead of imitating what his mother did, why not opt for not drinking at all? Instead of walking out on his children, why not be there for them? If he did not have enough to eat, why not make sure he’s capable of supporting himself as an adult and his children?

We were not born crooked. It is our responsibility to make the right choice. There is always room for error, but there is also room for improvement. Therefore, the old excuse that you did not have a good example growing up, or the previous people made the wrong choices, or whatever else excuse you have, does not sit well with me. If you can recognize where the problem lies, then you sure have the power to correct it. Stop blaming others for your mistakes, or for how your life has turned out. It is up to you to make it better. It is no one’s fault but yours alone.

Originally published in on April 8, 2020.

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My writing journey began as a way to cope with grief. I realized I enjoyed writing and began a blog, Debbie’s Reflection ( I also enjoy traveling. Therefore, as a traveler, I began another blog, Traveler Wows (, in which I share tips on places, landmarks, and reviews on airlines, hotels, and restaurants. Thank you for joining me on my writing journey.

Orlando, FL

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