A little bit of cosmetic experimentation can bring excitement and drama into the monotonous world of mom and wife
Psychologist Geri Weitzman said, “sometimes you gotta create what you want to be a part of.”
As a woman with an imaginative soul, this is my true mantra for happiness, and it is also the truth I want you to embrace today as women.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I love being a wife and mother. I love being a teacher. I love my age and the wisdom and insights it has brought me.
But there is so much more inside of me than these things.
And when I finally let go of the idea that these roles comprised my whole identity, a new universe materialized in front of me. Complete with a new world of identities I could inhabit.
All through the use of cosmetics and fashion.
After all, world-famous artist Pablo Picasso said that “art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” And I’ll be honest. Sometimes as beautiful as my life is, it gets “dusty.” I want more than my routine existence.
I want fantasy. I want magic.
And I’m not so crazy as to leave my husband and children and the blessings in my midst to regain these missing elements of my existence.
So I use the artistry of makeup and clothing as a powerful antidote to escape the hum-drum boxes into which I sometimes feel pigeonholed.
And when I dabble in these “magical arts,” I am once again intoxicated with life and its possibilities. And you, my fellow wives, mothers, and professionals, can join me in my newfound fantasy world.
After all, author C.S. Lewis said, “We are what we believe we are.”
And makeup and fashion can help us believe in the other parts of our identity that usually remain closeted.
Here are ways you can use these elements to lead a more magical existence.
Cosmetics and their transformative power
Who do you want to be today? I mean, besides mom and wife?
Do you want to be exotic and seductive? Pair red lips with a winged eyeliner in velvet black.
Do you want to be the fresh-faced ingenue? Wear a sheer foundation with a bit of highlighter, mascara, and barely tinted lip gloss.
Do you want to embrace the gothic aspects of your personality? A smoky eye and a lighter foundation with a dark lip may do the trick.
There are so many ways that makeup can be used to reflect those parts of ourselves that lie just beneath the surface. And when these hidden identities are given permission to emerge, we allow ourselves just enough of the fantasy of “otherness” to feel reborn again. Empowered. Free.
Try it. Play around and experiment with your makeup. You can even search Youtube for tutorials on how to get the specific look you desire. Apply the powders, creams, and colors and let them do their work. Then watch how it changes the way you interact in the world in which you live.
It will add that little bit of drama that you need to feel the spark of a sleepy character inside of yourself awakening, and no worries, when you are ready to change “roles,” all you need is soap and water.
Voila. A bare face. Ready to capture the next identity you want to inhabit.
Hint: Use your hair to add to the cumulative effects of this makeup metamorphosis. It will heighten the transformation.
Fashion and the fantasies it conjures
There are a few jobs that require a specific fashion code. If you’re in one of these jobs, it may not be as easy to slip into a new identity with your clothing choices. But hey, there’s still the weekend and your time off work to use the elements of style to enliven your “dusty” universe.
For the majority of women, however, there is a little bit of room to “role play,” even in our professional lives.
Feeling the need for a little glamour? Wear fabrics like silk or cashmere. Change out trousers for a figure-flattering dress in red or black. Accessorize with jewelry such as pearls or diamond earrings and a pendant necklace that accentuates your neck and collarbones. Switch out flats for a daring heel.
Want the romantic look? Embrace lace and ruffles. A flowy skirt. Try pastel clothing in soft pinks, blues, or lavender. Pair with dainty jewelry and understated accessories like a scarf or choker.
Have a hankering for urban chic? Or sleek and desirable? Try asymmetrical necklines or hemlines to add a sultry effect to your outfit. Or pair a turtleneck (they’re back in style you know) with a pencil skirt, black leggings, and heeled boot. Hoop earrings also add to the effect.
On the weekends, you can also “play” free-spirited goddess. Wear ripped jeans (age, be damned) with a well-fitting tee and army jacket. Add a creative beanie to emphasize the effect.
There are so many different personalities you can welcome into being with your style choices. And when you do, you will see a different part of yourself emerge with each choice.
The bottom line:
When we allow ourselves to role-play using cosmetics and fashion, we allow our different selves to come out of hiding. And we start to enjoy the three-dimensional aspects of who we are. And as we learn to do this, each “self” we wear may teach us new lessons on who we are and what we can do. These personas may help us show the world (and ourselves) the truth about our identity in all its complexity.
And complexity is beautiful. And alluring. The essence of woman itself. The essence of you, my beautiful friend.
But, yes, yes, I do give you permission to sport the messy bun and mom sweats. Just not all the time.
After all, your secret selves need to walk around a bit and get some fresh air so they can survive. Don’t let them die out. They make you extra special, you know.