A Letter to my Daughter in Honor of Women’s History Month: You Were Born to Rule

Dawn Bevier

Lessons on how to be a queen worthy of greatness

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My precious baby girl, a lot of people will tell you things about what it means to be a woman.

Some will tell you it is a curse. Some will tell you that men are the enemy. Some will tell you that you should not dishonor the glorious gift of liberty women for fought so hard for by wearing makeup or staying home and raising a family instead of taking on the world. They will tell you so many things, things that may leave you confused or anxious about what your role is as a female in the world.

But I’m here to help you separate fact from fiction so that you can live your best life. Because I love you.

And really, the truth about what it means to be a woman is quite simple.

It means you are a queen.

And there are several things that a good queen must remember.

A good queen should honor those who have helped build and sustain her kingdom.

One of the people who helped build your kingdom was a queen named Maya Angelou. This woman was a woman of truth and strength and kindness. As a matter of fact, you would do well to look to her as an example of how to be the best kind of monarch. She leaves you powerful words to remember when she says:

Your crown has been bought and paid for. Put it on your head and wear it.

But Maya Angelou was only one of many of the noble souls who helped construct your kingdom and secure your status as a queen.

Susan B. Anthony. Sojourner Truth. Gloria Steinem. These females and many other strong queens worked to build your “crown.” And each jewel they added to it cost them pain and suffering. These women made their life’s work about ensuring you had the right to read, to vote, and to stand up for your beliefs.

So honor their efforts and wear this crown they constructed for you with all the regality it deserves.

How can you do this?

By being a queen worthy of love and respect in equal measure.

But perhaps you are wondering how you can accomplish this goal. I’ll give you some tips, one queen to another.

Run your kingdom by acting and speaking with strength and courage.

You as a queen have the right to make your own rules. And the rules you make should be ones that honor your heart, your needs, your instincts, and your moral conscience.

Yes, listen to trusted advisors: mothers, friends, or other strong queens. Ponder their words, for they may give you much wisdom. But in the end, do what’s right for you.

And once your rules are in place, be aware that others may try to challenge them. Usurp your strength. Take away your power to dictate the running of your kingdom. They may close their ears to your royal mandates or act recklessly and without deference to your rules.

And this is where you must be strong.

After all, making the rules for your kingdom is only one part of being a queen. A far more difficult task is enforcing those rules.

And people will be disobedient in both subtle and aggressive ways.

For example, they may refuse to hear your royal proclamations. Or ignore the rules you laid forth. When this happens, confront them. Look them in the eye and demand they hear your words. That they abide by your mandates. This is your right as a queen.

Speak your truth respectfully, but speak it nonetheless.

And this will take courage.

Because they may become angry at you, they may spew words of venom or spread malicious lies that disrespect your royal status and wound your royal heart.

And when this happens, remember the wise words of another great queen, Coco Chanel. She says:

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

So be valiant enough to demand they hearken to your words and obey your non-negotiables.

Run your kingdom with kindness.

My dear queen, you may frequently find that you have made mistakes in the running of your realm. Your rules may need to be amended, your actions tempered. And this means you may need to make apologies to the people in your realm .

It is helpful to remember that even though you are a queen, you are also a human being. And being a human being means making mistakes.

So don’t forget this fallibility that connects you to others in your realm. If you are not perfect, neither are they.

And so when they occasionally fail to meet your expectations or commit a wrongful act, you should seek to embrace mercy and kindness.

Forgive them when they periodically forget to pay you your royal dues. When they accidentally speak the wrong word or do the wrong thing.

Judge them on their overall behavior, not on one single deed or misstep.

And if they have been a loyal subject, repay them with kindness, forgiveness, and understanding.

When they come to you with grieving hearts, utter words of empathy and support.

When they come to you needing strength, lift them up.

When they come to you for mercy, extend it.

Remember, while the best queens exude strength when it is required, they also extend love when it is earned.

One final note on the job of being queen:

Remember those great queens who helped fashion your crown? You must continue their legacy. You must work to build crowns for those who deserve it.

When you see greatness and strength and kindness in others, begin your construction of their crown.

And dear, please remember that not only are many women deserving of these crowns, so are many men.

Do not be deluded into thinking that great leadership is limited to only women.

If you are prejudiced against deserving souls simply because of their gender, you are no better then the hordes who sought to ignore your royal status in the first place.

So build crowns for kings as well as queens.

Build crowns as if there were no gender attached. Or race. Or any other superficial thing that does not determine the worth of a human.

Build crowns for those who show a desire to love others as they deserved to be loved. Those who treat others with dignity while not sacrificing their own. Those who seek to make every person they meet happier or better humans. Those who seek a future that is bright for all its inhabitants.

So wear your crown and be deserving of the honor. And build more crowns for those who are also deserving.

That my dear will make you a queen worthy of worship.

With immense love and hope for a righteous rule,

Mom

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Sanford, NC
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